stuff jen says: Sep. 3: If you just can’t watch...

Ugh. I’m watching the RNC and feeling sick. So many gun-totin’ pregnant hillbillies all in one place! If, like me, you want a distraction, I offer the following links for your viewing pleasure.

I am not Caribou Barbie! Dan told me to follow SarahPalin4VP’s twitters so I am. You should too. They are incredibly funny and obviously written by a person in possession of a sense of humor. In other words, a non-Republican. (Oh, no I di-in’t!)

While we’re on the subject of Barbies, check out this one.

I don’t know why either. But I know I want one of my very own.

It’s lovely, I’ll take it! Take a look at these truly frightening photos from real estate listings. And I thought leaving a gazillion refrigerator magnets up was trashy; that’s nothing compared to the conditions under which these homes were photographed. Erin, be sure to share this link with your clients so they recognize how much you don’t suck as their realtor, kay?

Lots of companies make use of Photoshop in their printed materials. Some use it well because they know what they’re doing. Others are so terrible at it, people create blogs like Photoshop Disasters just so this shoddy work can be showcased. And then we get to enjoy it.

How good are you at identifying accents? Take this quiz (turn up your speakers). I got 29 points, including three bonus questions. That means I thoroughly sucked at the quiz. But can you do better?

facts of jen's life

So, who do you think you are? I think I’m Jen. People who don’t know me sometimes call me Jenny. That’s weird.

Tell me about yourself. I was born a small black child, and am now a grown-up, or at least my kids think I am. I’m in my mid-40s and live in the ‘burbs of Portland, Oregon. My husband is Victor, and my kids are Katie and Jack. Read this if you want the real and very long scoop.

Tell me things people might not know about you. I am an ordained minister and can perform marriages. Why no one has asked me to do this for them yet, I do not know. ● At the request of my Disney-hating friend Ed, I got mouse ears embroidered with the name “Satan” and I didn’t even get kicked out of Disneyland. It’s quite possibly the ballsiest thing I’ve ever done. ● I “helped” write this book, published in 2012: You Take it From Here, by Pamela Ribon. My name is in the back, and I’m still geeking out about it. ● I recorded a song in a studio in 1994 and it got local radio play for a few months. At least two times I turned on the radio in the car and my song was playing at that moment—very cool. ● I nearly died from a zit in 1986. I am not making this up. ● Victor and I once appeared on The Tonight Show. Really. If you can find a VCR, I’ll show you the tape.

I read some of your posts and I think you might be an alcoholic. I drink way less than I write about drinking. If I ever STOP talking about booze, then it’ll be time for an intervention.

What do you love? Books. Coffee. Fonts. Broadway musicals. San Francisco. Bacon. Rum. Law & Order. Naps. Butter. Home. Crack cocaine. iDevices. Words. Disney vacations. You.

If you could punch anything or anyone in the face, what/who would it be? Cancer. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in November 2009. I kicked its big fat ugly ass and am in remission now. ● Comic Sans. ● People who won’t take responsibility for their problems—the “I didn’t do anything to deserve this!” attitude. Look in the mirror. That’s who to blame. ● Celebrities who are famous for no reason. Y’know, if we stop looking, they’ll go away... ● Bad grammar and spelling and the dummies who use it.

You seem bitter. Did someone piss in your Cheerios? I’m not bitter. I think unicorns-and-rainbows stuff isn’t very interesting to read, so I tend not to write that way. But also, now you’re being kind of a jackhole.

It seems like no one ever comments on your blog posts. Why is that? Most people comment on the Facebook links. I don’t know why.

What if I want to tell you something? Two ways to reach me: leave a comment on a post, or e-mail me at jenniferTAKETHISPARTOUTmanullang at gmail-dot-com.

2 comments:

AnonymousSeptember 4, 2008 at 7:21:00 AM PDT
I'm glad I'm not the only one gagging about the RNC event. I knew it would be a typical Republican good time when it starts with a middle-aged tenor singing the national anthem. Ugh. I mostly watched with the sound off. What an insult to women that John McCain thinks this is the 'best of the best.' Even I could pick out more qualified Republican women candidates. O.k...I'm done. :)
Dan KaempffSeptember 4, 2008 at 9:07:00 AM PDT
I find it hilarious to think the GOP thought that by choosing a female, anti-choice, gun-lovin', petty, corrupt, pork-barelling, flip-flopping secessionist for the VP candidate, they were going to appeal to supposedly disaffected Hillary voters.

You're better than I for having the guts to watch the RNC bilge...kudos for that!

Hey, please don’t leave an anonymous comment.
Select “Name/URL” below and you can use whatever name you want. No registration required.
Thanks! –Jen

Sep. 3: If you just can’t watch...

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