Can’t believe I haven’t written this up yet, but I decided on a name for the tumor: blog readers, meet O.J.!
Is that name vile enough for ya? Here’s why I chose it:
- Sally said, on principle, she was going to stop drinking orange juice because my tumor is the size of an orange. That’s what first got the wheels spinnin’ in my noggin.
- I actually really like orange juice (it is soooo refreshing with a splash or three of rum), so I don’t want to resent it by confusing it with my tumor. “O.J.,” however, has different connotations. Big, bad ones.
- Sometimes oranges don’t taste very good. This is a perfect example of one that makes me super-sick.
- Unlike O.J. Simpson, this O.J. hasn’t killed anyone. Yet. You know he totally would if we gave him the chance. He’s a jackhole like that.
- Like O.J. Simpson, this O.J. thinks he’s above the law. That everyone should let him do whatever he wants because he’s O.J. He’ll just shove whatever gets in his way. ‘Member—he’s a jackhole.
- Have you ever had a glass of O.J. right after you brush your teeth? Is that, like, the worst taste EVER? That doesn’t really have anything to do with supporting my point, but still. YUCK.
- If this tumor was a guy, he’d probably drive a white Bronco. I’m not suggesting that all white Bronco drivers are bad, but this particular one is.
- O.J. is said to cause anal itching. I don’t know if that refers to orange juice or O.J. Simpson, but I don’t want to chance it to find out. Anyway, I read it on the Internet, so it has to be true.
O.J.’s middle name is still up for grabs.
Well, I think it's perfect. :)
ReplyDeletexoxo
THIS O.J. is going to get tried, convicted and hung from the rafters!
ReplyDeleteThe most recent citrus I ate was a pink grapefruit--that was yummy. Previous to that, I had a tangerine that really sucked. It was dry, and had way too many seeds. I saved it for a smoothie, but a week later it was still in the fridge, so I tossed it out figuring it had gone bad (Well, worse). I have no idea what the moral of the story is, do you? ShevyX.
ReplyDeleteOj TUPAC?? Ugly, bad, sociopath,and gets killed off!!
ReplyDeleteAnd just pipe down if any of y'all like Tupac. I don't f'n care.
For some reason, I want Tiger somewhere in there too, this week... OJ Tiger? Tiger OJ? Maybe the second name can be a change-out kind of deal... when some new jackhole comes along in the media, you can swap out. Not like your OJ's gonna last that long; I'm thinking he's long gone before Tiger gets back to golf, that's for sure!
ReplyDeleteThat is definitely the perfect name. There will be no confusing how we feel about OJ Tumah.
ReplyDeleteMy vote is for jackhole. O.J. Jackhole.
ReplyDelete