Feb. 10: Plinky ~ No “L”

Today’s Plinky prompt is kinda ridiculous:

Write a (very) short story without using the letter 'L.'

Harder than it...uh...appears, huh?

I tried it, though, and it wasn’t as hard as I expected (that’s what she said). This particular stupid story was inspired, in part, by someone I know who’s waiting to hear the grade she got on her kid’s science project—this lovely person shall remain nameless to protect the naughty, naughty parent.

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Once upon a time there was a boy who wanted to visit a nearby dog park. His dog, Tucker, was very eager to get out and romp with other dogs, but the boy was afraid he might get hurt. Tucker was tiny (a Chihuahua) compared to most of the dogs at the park, and they were rough sometimes. The boy was very protective of Tucker and didn’t want him making friends with strange dogs or joining a dog gang. He had seen quite a bit of humping going on among the dogs, too, and didn’t want Tucker to have puppies. (The boy was not very smart because his mom did his science homework for him.)

It was a gorgeous, sunny day, and after Tucker begged and begged, the boy decided he was ready to take Tucker to the dog park. Untethered and within the park fences, Tucker ran free. The bigger dogs scared him, but he tried to stay away from them. He stuck to the kiddie areas, where the timid dogs hung out, shivering and pretending the dog park was awesome. Some dogs are idiots.

After an hour, the boy said it was time to go. Tucker was a very sad dog, for in the time he’d been at the park that morning he’d met Daisy, another tiny dog, and they’d gotten dog-married. They had even gone behind the tree and kissed. Daisy’s owner didn’t see, and Tucker’s owner didn’t see, and both dogs hoped they might keep their adoration for each other a secret for fear they’d not be permitted to meet again.

Nothing was going to wipe the grin off Tucker’s snout that day. He was infatuated with Daisy! She was a charming Pomeranian with the perkiest ears Tucker had ever seen. He knew they’d be together forever.

But on the way out of the park, the boy ran into Daisy’s owner and she accused Tucker of being inappropriate with Daisy. So she had seen them behind the tree! “Duh!” Tucker thought, “Of course I was inappropriate! She’s my wife!” The boy didn’t know what to say. He was pretty sure she was wrong, but promised to keep Tucker away from Daisy in the future.

At first it seemed they were doomed, but Tucker and Daisy did not despair. They knew their devotion to each other was strong enough to survive their owners. They arranged to get together every night after their owners were in bed and carry on their friendship.

So they did. Every night they met on a corner in their neighborhood, where they embraced under the shimmering moonbeams. No one ever knew; not the boy or Daisy’s meanie of an owner. They were the envy of dog pairings everywhere.

One night a coyote attacked and ate them. The end.

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That’s 465 words. Yes, it’s true: I can rock when I try to avoid the “L,” with minimal thesaurus-al help, even though the results are hardly worth publishing. I am soooo adding this special skill to my résumé.