Feb. 10: What brung ya

Statistics fascinate me, especially when they have something to do with me.   I love looking at my web site’s statistics, like how long people stay at my blog, how many pages they read, where they came from, etc. I don’t read them often for stuff jen says, because they’re not super-specific and also tend not to change much. Every once in a while, though, I check on the search terms that have brought people to stuff jen says, and I chuckle thinking that sometimes people must be very, very disappointed at what they find here.

Most searches from the past 30 days are on my name or “stuff jen says” or variations thereof. But these are head-scratchers:

• clifford "book fair" volunteer|costume|suit  (Ah, the “fart suit” story. Super.)
• “christina pearl” clackamas  (Christina! You have a stalker! I’m so jealous!)
• adventist walnut patties recipe
• blue eyes and large pupils
• embarrassing stories wigs
• how to do a jock lock wedgie to yourself with really small underpants
• kick kaempff  (Possibly my favorite in the list. Have I ever uttered these words close to each other? I don’t think so.)
• mister tbury, history teacher in portland adventist academy (Best teacher in the history of teachers, I’m pretty sure)
• ron burgundy action figure
• sunshine cleaning you worry too much what? eat some bacon  (“Eat some bacon” is always good advice, whether you’re Sunshine or cleaning or worrying)
• zac efron pantsless  (This has shown up on the list for years now. No idea. None.)

The report also shows that 76 percent of the visitors to stuff jen says in the last 30 days stayed for 0-10 seconds. Most stay between 181-600 seconds. A very few stay for more than 1,801 seconds. What, I’m boring? I don’t entertain you? You think you’ll find something more interesting somewhere else? GOOD. LUCK. PAL.

On the other hand, I have very loyal visitors. Most of them who are repeat visitors have come back more than nine times, and some over 200 times (thanks, Mom!). They come from 70 different countries, most of them the United States. The highest percentage of U.S. visitors are from Oregon, of course, and I’ve had people stop by from a total of 52 states. Yes, 52—Washington, D.C. and “unknown” were the extries.

Looking at visitor statistics for the past year, I see that the numbers spiked on November 30 and have continued to stay high since. Hm, wonder why? Oh yes, my cancer diagnosis. Wow, if I’d known I’d get that many more readers I could’ve made up a life-threatening disease years ago! Or I could’ve put more effort into making my blog interesting to read. Yes, that might also have worked.