Feb. 26: Stupidity and failure

You know what sucks? I’ll tell ya.

What sucks is promising my daughter I’ll make an American Girl doll outfit for her cousin’s birthday and then trying to make it and ending up wanting to throw the sewing machine across the room, because it keeps getting stuff caught because I can’t thread the bobbin correctly because I’m borrowing my mother-in-law’s sewing machine because mine isn’t working and I’m too lazy to take it in to have it serviced because I don’t use my sewing machine often enough to even remember that it needs to be serviced until I go to use it.

That’s what sucks.

No, wait. I forgot one part. What also sucks is taking my daughter shopping at the fabric store and finding the perfect combination of fabrics, appliqués, buttons, and accessories, and none of it is on sale because the universe hates my guts, so I pay full price for everything, and as I leave the store I wonder why I didn’t just go over yonder to Toys R Us and buy a friggin’ pre-made outfit. Then I wonder that the whole way home and for many days afterward.

There’s more.

I bought enough extra of all the materials so I could make one of these adorable outfits for my daughter to have to match her cousin’s, and maybe even enough to make the same outfit for her other cousin too. Because wouldn’t that be so precious, all three girls having the same outfits for their American Girl dolls? Yes, yes, it’s a lovely and lofty dream. And I am an idiot.

Then there’s the fact that I waited until the last possible moment to start the actual sewing of the outfit because there were too many other things going on earlier in the week and I’ve been very, very tired. That might be the worst part of the whole thing. Well, besides the idea in the first place. They don’t get much stupider than that.

And besides the anger at myself (mostly) over the suckiness of this whole thing, it’s also made me feel like a complete and utter failure that because I can’t thread a bobbin—on a machine I’ve used before without any problem—I am quite possibly the worst mom and auntie in the whole world. It’s true.

Also making me miserable this evening? My teeth. They hurt. I’m going to bed.

And if you need me, I’ll be at Toys R Us as soon as it opens in the morning.