Feb. 15: Olympic fever

Like a lot of people, the only event of the winter Olympics I care much about is figure skating. At least that’s how I’ve usually been in the past; this year I’m finding nearly every event fascinating and I hardly know myself anymore. I think I’ll blame the chemo. It’s changing me.

I was hugely impressed by the opening ceremonies on Friday night. I never expected them to compare to Beijing’s, but I thought Vancouver showed itself right proud. I don’t think I’ve ever wished I was Canadian more than I did while watching the performances representing the history and culture of that huge country. The fact that Celine Dion was nowhere to be found helped, I’m sure. In a generous gesture, a Canadian friend of mine who lives in the U.S.—and who shall remain nameless unless she chooses to out herself—offered to leave her husband if I’d leave mine so we could move to Canada and be married, thus giving me Canadian citizenship. For now, I’m simply going to file away her offer, and if Vic ever makes me really, super-duper mad I’ll remind her of her PROMISE and see how serious she was. Ha!

In the absence of women’s beach volleyball—which is a darn shame, stupid WINTER Olympics!—so far my favorite event is moguls. It’s incredible to see those skiers stay upright on their skis, much less do flips and turns in the air in the middle of it all. Some of them are even graceful. Wowzers. The other night I wondered why the freestyle skiers wear loose clothing when speed counts, and it took me forever to find the answer on the Internet. I think it was hard to find because the answer is kinda silly: they have resisted wearing bodysuits primarily for aesthetic reasons. Same with snowboarders. I did learn that moguls skiers have knee patches in a contrasting color so the judges can see what their knees are doing. I wish I can say that’s why I wore those heart patches on my jeans in grade school, but that was just because my mom tried to disguise my clumsiness with cuteness. Hey, Mom—I don’t think you fooled anyone.

Another event I watched over the weekend was the Nordic Combined. I thought it was kinda boring until the surprise and very cool ending—those longer events are often yawners, IMO—but chuckled at the way the skiers went up inclines. They looked so awkward, and it made me feel a little less embarrassed at how I must look moving around in skis. Ah, so we ALL look like we’re using skis that are way too long!

The pairs’ skating was cool. Jumps always make me nervous, and there were lots of falls yesterday. The commentators were saying that there’s pretty much no room for error in the short program, so it was kind of a bummer to watch all those dreams go splat. It was also a bummer for me to watch that couple dressed like clowns; I don’t think I’ve seen anything creepier. <shivers>

Speaking of commentators, are they terribly annoying sometimes, or what? They’ll go on and on about how an athlete is so sloppy or inartistic or blah blah blah, while I’m just unbelievably impressed at their skills. But I guess as experts, those chatty folk see all the little mistakes that matter in scoring. Remember watching synchronized diving at the Beijing games? You watch a dive and think, OMG, THAT WAS AMAZING! And then they show the dives in slow motion and suddenly you’re all judge-y, like, THEY SUCKED! THAT WASN’T SYNCHRONIZED AT ALL!

And what’s the deal with Bob Costas’ hair? It’s really, really dark. Vic thinks his eyes look weird too. I noticed he almost never blinks. I’m thinking that maybe he’s not Bob Costas at all, but a Bob Costas-bot. A-ha!, right?! Never thought I’d miss that Cabbage Patch Doll Greg Gumbel.

So why is watching the Olympic games more exciting this year than any other? Maybe because they’re taking place in our backyard? Or because it’s Vancouver, and I visited Vancouver for the first time just a couple years ago and fell in love with it? Or maybe it’s because I find the Olympic Creed especially poignant at this time in my life:

The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph, but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered, but to have fought well.

Whatever the reason, you can count on me having the TV on NBC or MSNBC over the next couple weeks, and tuning in online when I can, or on my iPhone when I’m out and about. Teensy obsession, this. Teensy.

Lastly, International Olympic Committee, I have a question for you. Curling? Really?