My list of "crap to share" has gotten long enough. Today I offer up some hee-haws collected from the www.
- It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird
- "Who are you and how did you get in here?"
"I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith..." - The cat said I'm dismissive and sarcastic. What does he know? He's only 10" tall.
- Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world
- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing
- What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Am I getting older or is the supermarket playing great music?
- I'd like gangsta rap more if it wasn't about killing people like me
- Sign in a store: "Unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten"
- It's not an oil leak. It's my car marking its territory.
- When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like his passengers
- People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because its easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs
- My inner child thinks you're a big poopy face
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
- Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup
- They say I have A.D.D. but they just don't understand. Oh look! A chicken!
- How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
- National Sarcasm Society. Like we need your support.
- When Life Magazine asked comic Chris Rock if America is ready for an African-American president, Rock said, "It's ready for a retarded president, why wouldn't it be ready for an African-American president?"
Lovies! --Jen
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