May 11: Stuff I stole today

My head hurts. Bad. Like, so bad I'll scream if anyone asks me to do something or insists on talking to me or looks in my general direction. Not a good day for a "Mom & Me" brunch at preschool, but Jack says I must go anyway. Gah. Miss Crystal'll be sorry she invited me.

Also, I'm mad at computers today. Long story. Not interesting.

Since I am in no mood or shape to think up thoughts all by myself today, I'm going to use the age-old blogger's technique of borrowing from another web site. These things actually made me kinda chuckle this morning.




Lame joke du jour (oregonlive.com):

What's the definition of the word "aspect"?

What you get when you bend over a chicken coop.



The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? (kgbreport.com)



Probable future names of Hershey's candies, adding to the progression of Kisses® to Hugs® (mcsweeneys.net):

  1. Hershey's Kisses®
  2. Hershey's Hugs®
  3. Hershey's Handshakes
  4. Hershey's Eye Contacts
  5. Hershey's Awkward Silences
  6. Hershey's Restraining Orders



Surprises in the new Spider-Man movie

  • Rummaging through the attic, Peter discovers that his kindly old Aunt May used to be his Uncle Jay.
  • Near the beginning of the movie, Spider-Man sits down and addresses the audience directly saying, "Having gotten your attention with the previous films, I'd like to spend the rest of this one talking to you about something very important to me - The Church of Scientology."
  • A surprising amount of screen time is devoted to Aunt May shopping for a new fanny pack.
  • That it is possible to make a third installation of a series without it degenerating into utter crap.
  • In the final shot, Spidey will reveal a new costume. It'll look exactly like his normal costume, but it'll have those armpit webs. Blackout! and roll credits.
  • Action sequences are padded with footage from Spidey's 70s-era educational appearances on The Electric Company. Also included, a whole scene in which he teaches the audience about conjunctions.
  • Following the trend set by the last two movies, now whenever characters make a self-referential comic book joke they will look at the camera, nod and wink.
  • In a bit of fan-service, Spidey and MJ will be caught in the rain again. To "up the ante" and add more sex appeal, MJ will be revealed to have a superfluous, yet large, third nipple.
  • Spider-Man and the New Goblin spend a tedious 20 minute sequence in which, in full costume, they enjoy a meal at Burger King. The only dialogue during this scene are the lines "Man, this is tasty!" "Mmm Mmm!" and "I'm having it MY way!" repeated several times.
  • Continuing the series' trend of giving the villains stronger ties to Spider-Man, Peter discovers that Sandman may have killed his Uncle Ben and Kraven the Hunter used to date his Uncle Jay. (capnwacky.com)

That's all for today, because I like you. Just don't ask me for nothin'.

--Jen
P.S. Fourteen days until the new Pirates of the Caribbean comes out. Jack reminds me of the countdown several times a day ever since Vic told him last Friday, "Jack, there's only 21 more days until we can go see the new Pirates movie!" I'm actually a little more excited about Ratatouille (49 more days).

No comments:

Post a Comment

Hey, please don’t leave an anonymous comment.
Select “Name/URL” below and you can use whatever name you want. No registration required.
Thanks! –Jen

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails