Mar. 5: Grandma exercised?

Once upon a time my grandma had both her legs and enrolled in an aerobics class. Kathy and I found the image of Grandma doing leg thrusts both terrifying and hilarious, and Kathy even wrote a little poem about it. Tonight I ran across this poem (dated 1992) while going through some files. This is just too good to keep to myself, and I don't think Kathy's seen it since she sent it to me.

Grandma's Aerobics Alphabet

A is for AORTA, the shock absorber of the body

E is for the ENERGY I had before I got here

R is for the time that is RUNNING out of my life (so why the hell am I wasting it exercising?)

O is for the OLD folks around me that make me look so young

B is for the BIG Mac I'm going to eat as soon as I leave this torture chamber

I is for the INVALID I feel each minute I'm becoming

C is for the CATARACT I just received from that 80-year-old bitch doing jumping jacks next to me

S is for SEVENTY, the age I never thought I'd be.

Suffice it to say that Grandma had a sense of humor back then. Nowadays she'd find a way to turn this into all of us being against her. Forget that Kathy did this all on her own; we're ALL evil.

Meh. *I* appreciate your talents, Kath.