July 16: All Chuck, all the time

You may ask, “Why???”

And I would probably answer, “I have no idea.” Blame it on all the paint fumes I’ve been inhaling, maybe?


“You know they say that Chuck Norris is so tough, there is no chin under his beard. There is only another fist.” (Family Guy)

Chuck Norris facts

  • If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you
  • There is no ‘Ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’ computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
  • Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song
  • Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open
  • Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip
  • Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you
  • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise
  • Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird




5 comments:

  1. My favorite Chuckism:

    "Chuck Norris' tears will cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried."

    ReplyDelete
  2. My husband will read me Chuck Norris facts while we both crack up! Too funny

    ReplyDelete
  3. hilarious! my husband and i were on a long drive and we made up our own chuck norris facts for a good two hours. it was an excellent time killer for a car ride.

    ReplyDelete
  4. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

    The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

    When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

    When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer. You will score over 8000.

    Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

    Chuck Norris does not “style” his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

    Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

    The Bible was originally titled “Chuck Norris and Friends”

    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    And my favorite: Chuck Norris once counted to infinity, Twice.

    ReplyDelete
  5. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

    The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

    When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

    When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer. You will score over 8000.

    Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

    Chuck Norris does not “style” his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

    Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

    The Bible was originally titled “Chuck Norris and Friends”

    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    And my favorite: Chuck Norris once counted to infinity, Twice.

    ReplyDelete

Hey, please don’t leave an anonymous comment.
Select “Name/URL” below and you can use whatever name you want. No registration required.
Thanks! –Jen

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails