This is the latch on the right armoire door:
And this is the latch on the left armoire door after I fell against it yesterday:
Looks like my forehead’s super-strong. Explains the triangular cut on my FrankenBrow, no?
This morning I’m hurting much worse than I did yesterday.
- While my left knee is no more swollen, it’s become incredibly painful. I can walk on it just fine—putting weight on it doesn’t increase the pain at all—but the minute I turn my knee or demi-plié, my mouth lets loose with a string of profanities the likes of which I haven’t uttered in an entire hour. I’m still confident that my knee’s not broken, but there must be some severe soft tissue damage in there.
- One of my toes is also hurting quite a bit more than it was during my “this little piggie” exam yesterday. ‘Course, nothing much can be done for a broken or sprained toe so I’ve resorted to whining.
- My right forearm, which I must have landed on in my graceful fall, is scraped, swollen and bruised and has a mysterious puncture wound. It’s possible that was caused by the fact that my bedroom floor has not been vacuumed since Christmas 2004.
- And surprisingly, even though the anesthetic has worn off, my facial injury isn’t any more ouchie than it was last night. Except when I look in the mirror. It’s truly hideous. Ugh. The swelling has decreased but it’s still very bruised and red, and those blue stitches are standing out like, well, BLUE STITCHES.
- As if the pain I inflict on myself isn’t enough, my arm feels like I got slugged, thank to the after-effects of the tetanus shot, which I believe gives me every right to curse the E.R. doctor even though he was perfectly nice. That’s what he gets for prescribing nothing more potent than Motrin. Because Motrin? WTF?
Many of my Facebook friends had excellent suggestions to prevent future accidents:
In keeping with Sheila’s advice, I ‘shopped myself into a helmet for a new Facebook profile pic and am seriously considering making it my new everyday real-life look:
Also, if anyone knows how I might be able to punch the incredibly injurious 2009 in its big fat face, please tell me.