Jun. 10: I *am* a Lifetime movie

The good thing about today: I got to go to a David Sedaris reading with two friends. It was over-crowded but still a lot of fun. Everything he read was stuff he’d read at his Eugene show in April—though that reading was quite a bit longer—but he had all sorts of new breast milk stories. They made us think “yikes.” We ended our evening with dinner at Cheesecake Factory, and THAT, my friends, is what I call a perfect evening.

The bad thing about today: I fell on my face. Literally.

This afternoon I was recycling like a good earth-lover and on the way back in from the garage, I tripped. Don’t worry, my chin broke my fall. The first thing I thought was “Oh no! I’m going to miss David Sedaris!” and the second thing I thought was “Oh no! I broke all my teeth!” Glad to see I have my priorities straight. First, laughs. Second, dentistry.

Fortunately, I didn’t break a single tooth. I did, however, scrape up my arms, knees, and face. I ache all over like I’m super old, like 44 or something. And the garage floor no longer needs to be swept, because all the little rocks and dirt are now embedded in my flesh. I wish I was kidding.

Oh, how I wish I was kidding.

This photo just doesn’t do my injury justice. The chin bruise is the worst looking one, but there are some on my nose and near my eye too. And you can’t really see my ego very well, but I assure you it is also bruised. The fact that I look like a woman who’s been battered by her abusive husband is just icing on the cake.

Tonight I got a voice mail from my mom in which she was giggling so hard, I couldn’t tell if she was saying she one-upped me because she dropped the treadmill on her toe or she one-upped me because she dropped the treadmill on her nose. Please clarify, Mom, because one makes me feel kinda bad for you, and the other just makes me embarrassed to claim you.