Sep. 21: Awards show fashions

In my opinion, one of the best parts of watching awards shows is commenting on the gowns. This is most fun while sitting with someone who’s willing to play along, or in the case of last year’s Oscars ceremonies, live-chatting with Loveliest Lori throughout the show. I so enjoy reading Go Fug Yourself—“the Fug girls” are as catty and cruel as I tend to be while sitting on my couch in jammies and a ponytail, stuffing my face with highly fattening snacks.

I missed most of last night’s Emmy Awards telecast because we were driving home from Seattle. I watched the tail end of it when I got home and am slowly catching up on what I missed, thanks to that beautiful thing called the Internet, this morning.

Yahoo! TV did an awards show fashions report card—61 photos of celebrities in their Emmy wear. The way the photos appear on my laptop, I have to scroll down to see the grade they gave each ensemble, so I started playing a game; I’d look at the photo and try to guess the grade they’d give it. And I swear, I was wrong more than half the time! And more than half of those times, I was not only wrong, but way off! Like, by several letters!

“Ooh, that one’s gorgeous! They’ll give it an A for sure!”

Scroll down, and they say, “Booooring! D+.”

This is one of many reasons, my friends, that I do not work in the fashion industry.

Try this for yourself and see how you do. If you watched any of the red carpet pre-shows last night you’ll already have an idea of what people thought, but it’s still fun. For the record:

• I said DARTH VADER! out loud when I saw Kristen Wiig’s gown. Score one for Jen! I love that girl, but the embellishments on that dress were horrible.
• Sarah Silverman, why are you dressed (and acting) like Dakota Fanning?
• Holly Hunter? Stunning. Sigourney Weaver too.
• Sandra Oh’s look was simple and beautiful. Better than I’ve seen her in a long time.
• Jon Cryer looked like an idiot. And did Cicely Tyson fire her stylist?
• Loved Alicia Witt’s look.
• Phoebe Price, WTF? You too, Victoria Rowell.

Where my opinion differed most from the “experts” at Yahoo! TV:

• I thought Neil Patrick Harris was Fab.U.Lous. Missed most of his hosting, but what I saw was good. Loves me some Doogie!
• Jennifer Love Hewitt—too prom-like, and kinda boring. Just “meh.” She’s never one to push the envelope, though.
• Tina Fey was gorgeous. I loved her hair.
• Toni Collette—like her and think she’s a great actress, but hated the pink and hated the ruffly stuff. Puke-us maximus.
• Those Kardashian girls. If we stop looking at them, will they go away?
• Jamie-Lynn Sigler. Ugh. Not a fan of that style of gown.
• Ginnifer Goodwin. Hated the color and the style of that dress. Hate how she spells her name. Adorable girl, but icky look last night.
• Mariska Hargitay always looks gorgeous.
• Kate Walsh. I don’t get what was so great about her gown, except that she probably didn’t have to hold in her stomach most the night.
• Padma Lakshmi looked bold and beautiful, IMO. I don’t love that purple, but she wore it well.
• Christina Hendricks’ gown made her head look too tiny for her body. Or is that not an illusion? I don’t know.
• I thought Jon Hamm was a cutie in his “nerdy bow tie.”
• Giuliana Rancic is a friggin’ bobblehead. I have never understood why people think she’s attractive.

As for the awards, I was about half and half on the winners. Alec Baldwin definitely deserved his Emmy, but 30 Rock should have gone home with more than they did. Jon Stewart = yummy. Justin Timberlake = yes, please!