Sep. 29: “Predominantly disparaging”

Whoa. I just ran into the oddest thing in one of those how-the-hell-did-I-get-here? Google searches. This appears to be a translation of a translation of a translation of my August 9 post.

9: Catching up
It doesn’t remind one of hunger to carp out of the closet of the apparel of blogging regularly. I didn’t duty anything yesterday or all broad broad daylight today and I’m sitting here, reasoning I should duty something but I remind one of in nothing personal to I acquainted with of like letter nigh and that means-lucky you-it’s point conducive to a bulleted laundry list. predominantly disparaging predominantly disparaging predominantly disparaging For the heretofore conterminous with days I’ve been collecting music conducive to our 2009 Christmas compilation CD. Please extend suggestions if there’s something you’d like conducive to us to frame of mind on it this year. So follow I’ve contrariwise got limerick mumbo-jumbo knock someone for six and I need more.

Last year I was thrilled to be that Partridge Family melody, and the Bobby Sherman limerick was a nerd hardly ever emolument. Know this: I when one pleases not frame of mind on anything about Mariah Carey or Jessica Simpson or Celine Dion moderate down although they all remind one of in Christmas albums, because I detestation them. I become no promises when it comes to Neil Diamond and The Jackson 5. She’s on a hardly ever vacation on her own in Portland and I felt exceedingly chartered to be a employment on her itinerary. predominantly disparaging predominantly disparaging Yesterday morning I met my escort Sheila conducive to breakfast. We had a wonderful take in that would’ve been contrariwise pint-sized less haler had it not included bacon.

And I did not make an issue of the VD wart-like things on my arm on her, no enigma what she tells you. I catchword him grab out of the closet of the canopy window of a parked pickup as I was walking into the restaurant, and he started contest all settled the parking a load and then headed out of the closet to a exceedingly flamboyant avenue. predominantly disparaging predominantly disparaging Call me a effects instrumentality do-er; I saved a dog. I grabbed his collar and another consumer went into the restaurant and establish the proprietress.

The guy was surprised to remind one of his dog at the restaurant door, and exceedingly appreciative that I caught him. If I *did* remind one of in VD warts I thoroughly would’ve rubbed them on her). (Sheila was no puzzle at all. predominantly disparaging predominantly disparaging I do not remind one of in VD warts. Well, I don’t create that’s what they are.

It doesn’t puzzle that I can’t give up scratching at them. I’m bonny unfailing they’re honest grub bites, but they look grosser than acceptable ol’ mosquito bites. I look like a skanky meth nut whose teeth remind one of in not in time to come fallen out of the closet. predominantly disparaging predominantly disparaging We done up a effects part of yesterday at Loveliest Lori’s establishment in Salem.

See what I mean? Just. Plain. Weird. I have to point out my favoritest parts:

From “Last year I was thrilled to find that Partridge Family song, and the Bobby Sherman one was a silly little bonus” came this:

Last year I was thrilled to be that Partridge Family melody, and the Bobby Sherman limerick was a nerd hardly ever emolument.

Somehow, from “…he started running all over the parking lot and then headed out to a very busy road” was interpreted as:

…then headed out of the closet to a exceedingly flamboyant avenue

From “I do not have VD warts. Well, I don’t think that’s what they are. I’m pretty sure they’re just bug bites, but they look grosser than regular ol’ mosquito bites,” well, the translation bonny unfails me:

I do not remind one of in VD warts. Well, I don’t create that’s what they are… I’m bonny unfailing they’re honest grub bites, but they look grosser than acceptable ol’ mosquito bites.

From “We spent a good portion of yesterday at Loveliest Lori’s house in Salem” came the sillyish:

We done up a effects part of yesterday at Loveliest Lori’s establishment in Salem.

(OK, I just put that last one in for my sister’s benefit, because I like to occasionally mention how I’ve been to her BFF’s new house many times and she still hasn’t been there at all. Neeners! Also, I’m super-drugged up right now and even though the drugs are doing nothing for my pain and making me bawl over the horrible things that happen in the course of a Law & Order: SVU marathon—seriously, how do Benson and Stabler deal with this stuff week after week?—I should not be held responsible for my actions because I’m on no sleep—no sleep!—and on the verge of puking my guts up. Now aren’t you sorry you asked “what the eff is wrong with this girl???”)

I apologize for the italics overusage. It’s predominantly disparaging.

…or something else that might trick you into thinking my brain is working just fine right now…