stuff jen says: Feb. 2: Big day for Sean

Happy birthday to my oldest nephew, Sean, who turns 21 today. I cannot believe that kid is already 21. I also cannot believe my sister is old enough to have a kid who's 21. That's just so funny I might be laughing all day.

Over Christmas I introduced Sean to the deliciousness that is a Dew-Mi (Mountain Dew and Midori) and although his idea of proportions emptied the Midori bottle pretty quickly, I felt sorta proud to be contributing to the delinquency of a minor, much like his father did for me a few years ago. It was not such a proud moment, though, listening to Stephen beg Sean to make him a Dew-Mi. In fact, it was quite possibly the weirdest conversation I've ever heard between brothers.

"Sean, will you make me a Dew-Mi?"
"Make it yourself."
"Please? I don't know how." (This is soooo the excuse Kath uses to get me to make her things)
"It's Mountain Dew and that green stuff."
Stephen pauses, then looks sideways to make sure Auntie Zen is listening. "Sean, I will pay you twenty dollars to Dew-Mi."

Enjoy your legal drunkenness today, Sean. And avoid your brother.

facts of jen's life

So, who do you think you are? I think I’m Jen. People who don’t know me sometimes call me Jenny. That’s weird.

Tell me about yourself. I was born a small black child, and am now a grown-up, or at least my kids think I am. I’m in my mid-40s and live in the ‘burbs of Portland, Oregon. My husband is Victor, and my kids are Katie and Jack. Read this if you want the real and very long scoop.

Tell me things people might not know about you. I am an ordained minister and can perform marriages. Why no one has asked me to do this for them yet, I do not know. ● At the request of my Disney-hating friend Ed, I got mouse ears embroidered with the name “Satan” and I didn’t even get kicked out of Disneyland. It’s quite possibly the ballsiest thing I’ve ever done. ● I “helped” write this book, published in 2012: You Take it From Here, by Pamela Ribon. My name is in the back, and I’m still geeking out about it. ● I recorded a song in a studio in 1994 and it got local radio play for a few months. At least two times I turned on the radio in the car and my song was playing at that moment—very cool. ● I nearly died from a zit in 1986. I am not making this up. ● Victor and I once appeared on The Tonight Show. Really. If you can find a VCR, I’ll show you the tape.

I read some of your posts and I think you might be an alcoholic. I drink way less than I write about drinking. If I ever STOP talking about booze, then it’ll be time for an intervention.

What do you love? Books. Coffee. Fonts. Broadway musicals. San Francisco. Bacon. Rum. Law & Order. Naps. Butter. Home. Crack cocaine. iDevices. Words. Disney vacations. You.

If you could punch anything or anyone in the face, what/who would it be? Cancer. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in November 2009. I kicked its big fat ugly ass and am in remission now. ● Comic Sans. ● People who won’t take responsibility for their problems—the “I didn’t do anything to deserve this!” attitude. Look in the mirror. That’s who to blame. ● Celebrities who are famous for no reason. Y’know, if we stop looking, they’ll go away... ● Bad grammar and spelling and the dummies who use it.

You seem bitter. Did someone piss in your Cheerios? I’m not bitter. I think unicorns-and-rainbows stuff isn’t very interesting to read, so I tend not to write that way. But also, now you’re being kind of a jackhole.

It seems like no one ever comments on your blog posts. Why is that? Most people comment on the Facebook links. I don’t know why.

What if I want to tell you something? Two ways to reach me: leave a comment on a post, or e-mail me at jenniferTAKETHISPARTOUTmanullang at gmail-dot-com.

Feb. 2: Big day for Sean

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