May 9: This is NOT the bee’s knees

I have a horror story to tell you. Pretend it’s dark, and we’re sitting around a campfire and I’m shining a flashlight on my face because that’ll make it more eerie. Or just look at the pictures—that oughta freak you out good. This totally happened to a person I totally know whose cousin’s daughter’s old roommate’s best friend totally told her, so you totally know it’s totally true.

Actually, it happened to my next door neighbors, Tina and Jim. And there were witnesses. Plus, y’know, the pictures. They don’t lie.

Friday afternoon bees are swarming Tina’s driveway and she notices this hanging in a tree in her side yard:

A few summers ago an exterminator found the biggest yellow jacket nest he’d ever seen under the siding of our house. Until Friday, that was the scariest bee or bee-like experience I’d ever had. And although I didn’t experience Tina’s bee thing personally (I napped through it, THANK GOD), I’m going to say this is definitely the scariest bee or bee-like event that has ever occurred in our neighborhood EVER EVER EVER. Ever.

Tina said these guys—bee hobbyists—were really excited about this whole thing. Clearly, the sanity has been stung out of them.

I’m glad to see they look a teensy bit frightened here. Or maybe the guy in front is mid-hoot-and-holler and not frightened at all, in which case I would like to remind the jury that the sanity has been stung out of these men.

Jack said he watched everything from across the street, too, but probably farther away because he’s a weenie like his momma. That’s why he’s not in this picture. Katie didn’t even watch; she was playing in Phoebe’s backyard. I’m not sure if she didn’t care or thought she was safer there. (She’s kind of a weenie too.)

The insane bee dudes supposedly took the queen and most of its worker bees away. I’m hopeful that “away” was farther than “the Manullangs’ backyard.” If so, the neighborhood is safe(ish) again. Whew.