Sep. 13: Fond of the silliness

Today's topic is useless gadgets. Here are just a few. Photos link to product pages.

A poison-free, nicotine-full cigarette is just what you've been waiting for, I bet. Here it is. Only $200, it's battery-powered and actually releases a vapor that is supposed to resemble cigarette smoke. One reviewer said this: "That doesn't make me look smug enough. I'll wait for the iCigarette."

This does look alive, and it does belch after it's chomped a fly, but it doesn't appear to have any other Seymour-like features. The product page has a video of this killer in action. $40.54-ish

Perfect lawn decoration for the upcoming holiday. The zombie in the back inflates every three minutes for added fun. $269.95

Wind-up fighting grand-dads are even funnier than fighting nuns, don't you think? $11.99

Can you think of a better shape for a stress ball? Smash the hell out of it! Worth every penny of $5.99

It's a USB drive. And it's funny, at least the first time. But does it really do that the whole time it's plugged in? Do you want your PC's power drained by this thing??? $15

Those crazy Germans. Is this really a chastity belt for men? app. $1,200

C'mon. You need this. $7.95

Because every beach towel should look like a kilt when you put it on, right? $21.26

This has GOT to be in Jack's stocking this Christmas. $4.50

This is not just a cute little fly swatter, oh no. It also screams "Gotcha!" when you smash a fly. $8.47-ish.

I don't think this item is so neat, but I love the car they chose for the ad. $18.99 for 1 fl. oz.

Fonies are little plush critters that hang off your phone and totally get in the way when you're trying to talk. But they actually serve a purpose: they're perfect for cleaning off the LCD screen. Apparently that's impossible to do with the hem of your shirt. $7.95

What little girl wouldn't look absolutely adorable wearing these Mary Jane rubber boots? Too bad they only come in toddler sizes. $28

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