Mar. 2: This does NOT help

Portland’s been named the unhappiest city in America by Business Week.

To get a sense of where the pain points are greatest, BusinessWeek.com came up with a list of the 20 unhappiest cities. These are major cities that were ranked based on their rates of suicide, depression, divorce, unemployment, job loss, population loss, crime, amount of green space, and cloudy days. We gave most emphasis to suicide and depression rates, crime, and economic factors. The city with the highest overall score in our index was Portland, the beautiful Oregon city that also has very high depression and suicide rates.

Here’s the article.

And here’s their complete list of unhappy cities:

1. Portland, Oregon
   
2. St. Louis, Missouri
   
3. New Orleans, Louisiana
   
4. Detroit, Michigan
   
5. Cleveland, Ohio
   
6. Jacksonville, Florida
   
7. Las Vegas, Nevada
   
8. Nashville-Davidson, Tennessee
   
9. Cincinnati, Ohio
   
10. Atlanta, Georgia
    
11. Milwaukee, Wisconsin
    
12. Sacramento, California
    
13. Kansas City, Missouri
    
14. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
    
15. Memphis, Tennessee
    
16. Indianapolis City, Indiana
    
17. Louisville, Kentucky
    
18. Tucson, Arizona
    
19. Minneapolis, Minnesota
    
20. Seattle, Washington

I’m so depressed over this news. If it hadn’t been such a beautiful, non-cloudy day today I would totally get a divorce and commit a crime.