Mar. 16: Blarg.

Did you notice how post-y I was on Friday? You should be impressed because I had a killer headache all day and yet I still cared enough about my adoring public blog that I posted and posted and posted. It was for you. Just for you.

I did not post on Saturday because I was too busy “downloading” every single thing I ate or drank. I don’t know why my headaches are now accompanied by severe nausea. It appears that this started on July 4 last summer, and I was fine for a few months after that—not headache-free, but headache-with-nausea-free—until the end of January. That’s when I ended up in the emergency room after three days of not being able to keep anything in my tummy.

I woke up with a headache Friday morning, but I grouchily went on with my day and did my reading group duties with the Sweathogs at the kids’ school. By evening I was pretty sure I wanted my capa detated because I couldn’t imagine that it would hurt any less than the headache itself.

But that was before the nausea set in. Saturday morning I started throwing up. No matter what I ate or drank, it wouldn’t stay down. Even the Zofran melt-on-your-tongue anti-nausea pill came back up. I knew I was headed for dehydration so we dumped K&J at Dawn and Darby’s house and checked in at the emergency room.

I had the admitting staff cracking up when I told them I puked up the Zofran. Personally, I didn’t find it all that amusing. I suggested they add “dementia” to my symptoms—which they also thought was hilarious—because I couldn’t get my driver license back into the little pocket in my wallet. Because I was trying to put it in the wrong side. Because even though I’ve done it a zillion times I suddenly forgot how. If that isn’t dementia, please tell me what is.

They checked me into a room and my nurse came in right away. She looked at me and said, “They were right! The admitting staff said you were pasty.” I was all WTF??? I told her I preferred the term “fair-skinned,” and then she apologized all over herself, as though she had really offended me. She obviously doesn’t understand what it’s like to walk around with transparent skin every day. Transparent skinned people get used to being called all sorts of unflattering things; for the record, my favorite is “beautiful and exotically ivory-colored.” (No, it doesn’t make sense. I do not care.)

Dr. Kelli (Dunks) Westcott was one of the E.R. doctors on duty Saturday night, for which I was very thankful. She’s a former classmate of ours, and also a good doctor and that makes me love her. She did a great job drugging me up, just like she did in January. Although we talked about some possible different treatments, we went with pretty much the same IV drugs as last time. I didn’t have a UTI—good news—and the pain meds helped my still-lingering back pain too.

Just before I was discharged she gave me an Ativan pill so I could get some good sleep, thinking that might help my headache and I would wake up feeling better. I swallowed it with a tiny bit of water and the nurse took out my IV. I sat up and a wave of nausea immediately hit. The nurse looked at me like, “Please don’t make me put that IV back in.” I took it slow getting re-dressed and walked out feeling sleepy but otherwise not much different than I had when I came in. On the way home I chewed on ice chips, and the minute I got home I threw up the ice chips—which were no longer ice—AND the Ativan. So much for a good night’s rest.

Needless to say, yesterday morning I was starving but hesitant about eating. I tried a banana and drank some water with a shot of Gatorade. The nausea came back almost immediately so I took my last Zofran. I felt the urge a few times but managed to keep the food down. I slept almost the entire day—all those pain meds are still coursing through my veins—and when I got up I decided to try some pasta. I kept it down! Can I get a hooray?

Kelli also prescribed a muscle relaxant and that, combined with a long, hot bath this morning, improved my overall icky feeling. The headache’s still hanging on, but now it’s more of a six than a nine on the pain scale—still totally sucky, but tolerable. I’m still feeling nauseous, too, but have been able to sip tea and nibble foods, and they aren’t coming right back up. Life may not be super great, but it’s better than it’s been in a few days. I can deal with that.

Also, Dawn and Darby rock. If you don’t have awesome neighbors like them, you should get some.