I had my pupils dilated today. Y’know, for kicks. Because walking around with dilated pupils is so NOT dangerous for someone as clumsy as me.
For reals, the medication I take for my weird autoimmune-disease-that’s-not-quite-lupus-and-not-quite-rheumatoid-arthritis requires me to have my eyes examined annually by an ophthalmologist. A few years ago he did a baseline exam; it took a couple hours to get through all the tests and they put a million different kinds of drops in my eyes. I wasn’t anticipating all that and didn’t arrange for someone to drive me home. If you’ve ever tried to drive in an unfamiliar area with dilated pupils, you understand why this would have been good to know in advance.
The next year I figured they wouldn’t do all those same things since they assured me it wasn’t going to be such a thorough exam, so I went to the appointment by myself again because I’m an idiot. But just like the first time, they did all the drops and made me all semi-blind again and I had to drive home again like Mrs. Magoo.
This year I knew how to plan. My mom is visiting right now, so she picked me up from the appointment. Yay, Mom! And to everyone who made it home from work alive tonight, instead of being sideswiped or run over by a big-eyed freak like me, you’re welcome.
Katie and Jack think I look freaky. And I have to admit, they’re right. I look very much like Mr. Burns in one of my favorite-r episodes of The Simpsons. “Don’t be afraid! I bring you peace. I bring you looooove.”