stuff jen says: May 2007

May 31: Ralph Knudson obituary

Ralph Forrest Knudson
Feb. 14, 1938-May 26, 2007

Damascus resident Ralph Forrest Knudson, 69, died Saturday, May 26, in Issaquah, Wash.

A celebration of life will be held at 4 p.m. Saturday, June 2, at Pleasant Valley Seventh-day Adventist Church, 11125 S.E. 172nd Ave., Happy Valley.

Committal services with honors will be held at 2 p.m. Monday, June 4, at Willamette National Cemetery. Those who wish may view from noon to 7 p.m. Friday, June 1, at Gresham Memorial Chapel, 257 S.E. Roberts Ave.

Ralph was born Feb. 14, 1938, in West Hollywood, Calif., to Joseph and Lillian Caldwell Knudson. The family later moved to Eagle Rock, Calif., then to Glendale, Calif., where he graduated from Hoover High School.

Ralph enlisted in the Navy on Aug. 10, 1955. While in the Navy, Ralph married Charlotte Summers on Feb. 18, 1956, in Glendale. Ralph was honorably discharged Aug. 9, 1961.

After his discharge, Ralph graduated from Glendale College with an Associates Degree in business. While in college, Ralph was the Men’s Club president and student body president.

Following his graduation, Ralph worked for Ingledue Travel Publications in Hollywood as general manager.

Charlotte preceded Ralph in death April 13, 1964. Ralph married Patricia Benjamin in March 1965 in Glendale.

Ralph remained with Ingledue Travel Publications until 1970, when he created his own business, Official Directory of Data Processing, in Hollywood. In 1978, they moved to Damascus. In 1988, Ralph worked for Well Source Corp. in Clackamas, beginning as general manager and was working as vice president of sales.

Ralph loved to travel around the world, including China, the Mediterranean and on family trips to Scandinavia and Hawaii. Ralph was very active in the church, was a member of the Republican Party and the founder of his local neighborhood home owners association.

Ralph is survived by his wife of Damascus; daughters, Julia Hogate of Milton Freewater, April Jordan of Issaquah, Wash., Camille Santo of Everett, Wash., Heather Knapp of Gladstone; sons, Douglas Knudson of Las Vegas, Michael Knudson of Tillamook; and eight grandchildren.

Memorial contributions can be made to Pleasant Valley Seventh-day Adventist Church Building Fund or the Worthy Student Fund, c/o the church.

Gresham Memorial Chapel is handling arrangements.

And from the Oregonian:

Ralph Forrest Knudson

A service will be at 4 p.m. Saturday, June 2, 2007, in Pleasant Valley Seventh-day Adventist Church in Boring for Ralph Forrest Knudson, who died May 26 at age 69.

Mr. Knudson was born Feb. 14, 1938, in West Hollywood, Calif. He served in the Navy and graduated from Glendale College. He published the Official Directory for Data Processing in California and transferred it to Boring in 1978. Later, he was a sales vice president of Well Source, where he worked for the past 19 years. He was a member of the church. In 1956, he married Charlotte Summers; she died in 1964. He married Patricia Benjamin in 1965.

Survivors include his wife; daughters, Julia Hogate, April Jordan, Camille Santo and Heather Knapp; sons, Douglas and Michael; and eight grandchildren.

Remembrances to the building fund of the church. Arrangements by Gresham Memorial.

May 29: Sad goodbye

Life was a lot more fun before I answered my phone today. Before I answered my phone today, the most troublesome thing I had to deal with was Vic’s bad haircut.

April called this afternoon to tell me that her dad, Ralph (Forrest) Knudson, died suddenly on Friday night.

There aren’t very many people I’ve known longer than April, nor as well. We became friends our junior year in high school. We were college roommates for a while, threw each other bridal showers, played bridesmaids in each others’ weddings, and met each others’ babies when they were fresh and new. We even have similar birth stories—we easily draw dirty stares from women when we say we’ve both got two children but neither of us has ever been in labor (heh heh heh).

Part of what helped us become close friends was getting to know each other’s families. April’s one of six kids, so get-togethers at her house were major affairs. I remember several Saturday night parties where chaos reigned—kids running up and down the stairs, arguing over what was on the TV, teasing the dog, and teasing each other—but Pat and Ralph didn’t seem to mind a bit, and kept themselves busy by alternately getting to know us and making sure there was enough food for everyone. Ralph was especially eager to please, constantly distributing plates of snacks and checking our soda cups to see if we needed refills. We’d laugh at his earnest ways, but also thought it was kinda cool how involved a dad could be with his teenagers. I think most of us had the kind of dad that spoke to his kids’ friends only if he had to.

If I answered the phone when April’s parents called our dorm room, they would chat with me a bit before asking for her. I saw them often when we’d go home together on the weekends. And by the time Jim and April’s wedding and all its associated events came in August 1991, I considered myself one of Pat and Ralph’s kids, as they very much made me feel like part of their family.

And then something unexpected happened. They became my friends. My roommate and I threw parties, and Pat and Ralph would show up. Victor and I threw parties, and Pat and Ralph would show up. A lot of times April wasn’t even in town, but it didn’t matter because we no longer needed her to connect us. It was easy to see that these were loving, thoughtful people who truly cared about others. And a lot of times when you talk about couples like that, it’s assumed that it’s mostly the wife who sort of “directs” their efforts. Not so with Pat and Ralph. He was as much a part of their relationships with others as she was.

In recent years, Ralph would often corner my dad at our parties and ask for advice on business issues—Dad acted like he was annoyed by it, but I know he appreciated being considered an expert. And so at Dad’s memorial service two years ago, Ralph went up front and shared very kind words for the kind of man he perceived my dad to be. I remember afterward that I thanked him for speaking, but I hope he knew just how special that was for me and my sister to hear.

I’m not the only one with the Knudsons in my background. Pat and Vic’s mom went to college together and later served on some of the same school committees because their kids were close in age. Victor’s Little League coach? Ralph. Smallish world, I know.

To April, Julia, Doug, Camille, Michael, Heather, and your families, I’m so sorry. Losing your father, especially in such an unexpected way, is truly tragic. Now that I’m two years past losing my own dad, I should probably have some wise words for you. Unfortunately, they don’t exist. It just plain sucks. There is still a huge void in my life; too often I still think, “Oh, I need to tell Dad…” Time does ease the physical pain of the loss, but the hole in your heart… well, I won't lie to you: it’s probably there to stay.

It sounds trite, but it’s true: the world lost a very special person last Friday night. Ralph Knudson was incredibly kind, goofy, concerned, and thoughtful. He was someone unique, for many reasons, and will be missed tremendously. He’s been part of my life for such a long time; it’s hard to imagine the changes his absence will bring. I wish I didn’t have to find out.

--Jen

May 27: Hair-etic

OK, so you're going along in a marriage that's just a little over ten years old, minding your own business (most the time) and trying not to boss your husband too much... things are going along just dandy until one day the guy comes home with a haircut that makes a weed-whacked bowling ball look attractive. Why? Why would he do that to you?

Because he hates you, that's why.

He thinks he's very funny. But he is not funny at all. Can he not tell that by your expression? And you're just wondering if, over the next few weeks, there are any places you'll need to be seen with him where he is NOT able to wear a baseball cap...

May 26: The Graduate

Jack graduated from preschool yesterday. We were all pretty much proud as could be.

This first pic is a scan from a Polaroid, which explains the odd size and low resolution. Also, Grandpa was having a marvelous time, even though it doesn't look like it.

Jack and Miss Crystal, the best preschool teacher there ever was!

Our little grad

So eat it, Stephen! Last year was your year. Graduation 2007 is all about Jack-Jack.

May 24: Brought to you by the letter "P"

Primo day 'round these parts. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End premieres tonight (in Portland, anyway). Jack is not pleased to postpone Pirates until tomorrow. It's a perfect opportunity to prepare him for one more of life's pains. Savvy?

It's also a proper time to think about the plight of real pirates with all this POTC hype... aw, poor pillagers!

Take pleasure in your Thursday, plunderin' pirate!

--Jen

May 23: Where's the love?

Where's the love, you ask? It’s right here. My self-imposed assignment today is to write about some of the people in my life and why they’re special. Notice I’m not doing my husband or kids because that’s just too dang easy. Also, I’m goin’ alphabetical on yurass, just so no one wonders how they fit into their place in the list.

Alisa, who is sort of a former coworker and now a good friend. Here’s what I love about Alisa: I can admit something totally embarrassing to her (“I haven’t dusted in three months”) and she says, “Oh, I’m so glad I’m not the only one!!” She and I can talk for hours and never run out of things to say. We have a similar sense of humor; in fact, it’s almost scary. She’s the only person I text message during “The Office.” Now that she’s a mom, we have even more in common and that makes her even more special to me.
Annalee is a former coworker. We became moms roughly around the same time. It’s amazing how much you bond with someone over your children. Although we haven’t had as much contact over the last couple years as we wished, we’re planning to get caught up sometime soon. Not-so-trivial trivia: she’s beautiful, and it’s not just me who thinks so. She was once Miss Washington and competed in the Miss America pageant!
April is one of my best friends and has been since high school. She was also one of my roommates in college. April is the type of person who is impossible NOT to like. She and her husband are Vic’s and my favorite traveling companions because we have a lot of the same kinds of travel interests and none of us want to rollerblade all over San Diego at the crack of dawn. Now that our children are close in age, we have even more fun during our time together. We’re hoping to board a Disney cruise ship together sometime in the next couple years. April is one of the nicest and funniest people I know, and I adore her.
Cassie is, among other things, my new favorite poker playing pal. Her daughter and Katie are in the same first grade class, and her son and Jack are in the same preschool class. She’s a fun person to spend time with and I look forward to getting to know her better. After losing her husband earlier this year, I also now think of her as incredibly brave and strong, or at least good at pretending to be. She should be everyone’s hero.
Cheri, my former neighbor, will someday be our real estate agent if we ever get the urge to actually move. Cheri keeps me laughing the whole time we’re together, and her family is loads of fun. Jack peed on her mom once. We were way bummed when Cheri and her family moved out of our neighborhood (it’s amazing how far away “the other side of the trees” seems now!), even though I adore the people that bought their house. We occasionally run into them at the grocery store and pass them on 142nd, but more frequent visits would be a treat. Not just cuz they have a pool, neither.
Deanna is another long-time friend. I love her family (see “Debi,” below) and some of my favorite high school memories took place at her house. Deanna and I shared that teen angst that worried our parents so much. She introduced me to the alternative music of the 80s (Depeche Mode, Erasure, The Cure, Scritti Politti, etc.) and surprisingly, we both turned out pretty normal. Although we don’t have nearly as much contact as we did before we both became moms, we still have a good time when we get together, and life feels “right” again. Her husband is hilarious.
Debi and I have been friends since around 1984, when I started hanging out at her house with her older sister. I love her family (see “Deanna,” above) and some of my favorite high school memories took place at her house. Debi and I share a lot of the same interests, like crafty things, travel, our kids, shopping, home décor, that sort of stuff. Vic accuses me of trying to keep up with the Nelsons, because every time I see Debi I come home wanting something new. OK, I got my DVD player after seeing hers, and I got the urge for a new house after she got one. I remember I also went a little nutso over a certain kind of lipstick after she told me about it. But the great thing is that it’s not about “keeping up.” We’re not competitive with each other and I feel like we bring out good things in each other. Our visits together are always fun, no matter where they take place.
Ed is a former coworker/boss/client, and now a friend I don’t see nearly enough. I always say that Ed is my second favorite guy on the planet. He’s my last remaining contact with the world I knew before becoming a mushy-brained parent, and nowadays when we get together I feel a little less out of touch with that part of life. Ed has excellent taste in books and movies, and is the person I have to thank for encouraging me to listen to NPR more often. He came to the hospital when both our kids were born, and that still means so much to me. He has a friend that hates when people describe him as “nice,” so I hesitate to use that word to describe him. How ‘bout “fabulous”? Yep, that’s just right.
Janet is currently a coworker/client. I think one of the things that makes Janet most special to me is that we didn’t really hit it off the first time we met. I didn’t dislike her, I just didn’t connect with her in the same way I did with one of the other people in her office. And when that person left and I had no choice but to work with Janet, I finally came to truly appreciate her. Not only do I look forward to spending time working with her now, I consider her a friend. She’s got a gentle and loving heart and is probably one of the nicest people I know.
Kathy, in case you’ve missed nearly every post where I mention her, is my seester. Besides growing up in the same family, we have a lot of the same interests and best of all, a similar sense of humor. That stuff bonds us in a way I’m not bonded to anyone else. When our dad died we dealt (and are still dealing with) the loss together and I’ve never been so glad to have a sister. We’ve often said we’re so glad it’s just the two of us; if there were more we’d probably gang up on each other and be a lot more competitive. Kathy has a beautiful smile and great laugh. She makes people laugh. She makes me laugh. If there were a #1 spot on this list, she’d be there.
Lori is, first and foremost, my seester’s BFF. Twenty-plus years ago, Lori intimidated me because she was so quick, smart, funny, and my big sister’s friend. She’s still all those things, but she doesn’t scare me anymore. Now we have more in common; our kids are close in age, we live near each other (though usually only see each other in Colorado!), we enjoy a lot of the same columnists, and we share a mutual love of the Amazing Kath™. Plus, Lori checks in here at manullang.com on a semi-regular basis and I loooooves me some folk who do that!
Michelle has cut my hair for 16 years now. I have faithfully followed her to several different salons over the years. You know how when you find the perfect doctor or dentist or therapist or manicurist or hair stylist, you can’t imagine giving them up? That’s Michelle, but-cept she isn’t a doctor or dentist or therapist (technically!) or manicurist. She’ll have to go into the witness relocation program to get rid of me. She’s also special because when I look at our wedding pictures I am still thankful she did my hair and makeup that day because I. Was. Stunning.
Mom. She’s amazing. There’s no other way to say it. I love her more than life.
Neighbors. The ones I spend the most time chatting with are David & Cristina and Darby & Dawn. They are incredibly fun. Some other good ones are Kristen, Trudy and Tina. I think I don’t ever want to move because of these wonderful people I’ve had the good fortune to get acquainted with. Our kids play great together and I’m glad they’ll always have good memories of their summers with their friends. Victor and I often talk about how lucky we are to have such great neighbors.
The Paulsens (Kristine, Michael, Jennifer, Jonathan) are our former neighbors. They moved to Molalla last year, and we miss them terribly. Although we had met them before Kristine started home daycare, we didn’t get to know them well until Katie and Jack started spending time there. Kristine is a fabulous mom and gives me tons of good advice about dealing with some of my parenting frustrations. Jonathan was Katie’s best bud for a few years, and I’m still hoping they’ll get married someday because I would LOVE to have people like Michael and Kristine for in-laws! Attempts to get our families together over the last year have failed miserably, but we still think of and talk about them very often. Kristine told me she checks in here at manullang.com occasionally, so I hope if she reads this she is reminded of just how special her family still is to us. We really need to get together this summer!
Sally is one of my sisters-in-law, and a friend for nearly 30 years. Some of my most fun kid memories involve Sally and her brothers Monte and Curtis. I love Sally’s sense of humor. And now I feel fortunate that we married brothers, because it ensures Sally will be making me laugh for years to come.
Sheila is a former coworker. She’s a mom now, and I have loved hearing about Aiden’s first year. He’s an adorable little guy, and lucky to have such awesome parents. Sheila’s a crack-up and was a lot of fun to work with. When Jack stops hating “babies” (any kid younger than him) I hope we can get together so I can see Aiden in action for myself.
Sherrice has been my friend since 1988 or so. We don’t talk nearly as often as we used to, but when we get together it feels like no time has passed. Sherrice was my maid of honor and I still consider her one of my favorite people in the world. Her family is great fun.
Sonya is Vic’s sister. I think she’s the only person I’ve ever known that has made me wonder if she has any faults at all. And the more I get to know her, the more I continue to wonder it! Sonya is truly kind, and people that know her often tell me how lucky I am to be related to her (like I need to be reminded). I admire her quiet way, people skills, honesty and parenting style. I once asked Darlene if Sonya ever raises her voice at her children. I was assured that she does, though I won’t believe it until I hear it for myself.

Yikes. Sonya was a bad person to end this with, as now we all feel flawed in comparison. Oh well.

I feel incredibly lucky to have these people in my life. I’m not just appreciative of what they contribute to my life, I’m also thankful for the way they make me feel about myself—I mean, I must be an okay person if these lovely folk can tolerate me.

May 22: Uh oh.

Ca-rap. I can't find my mp3 player. The kids will be home soon. How am I going to drown out their whining???

[Edit: found it. It had fallen behind the bed. Whew.]

May 22: Free grill!

As always, my friend Becky's e-mails do not disappoint. Here's one from this morning.

As every southerner knows, it's time to get ready for that all important cooking technique of the south: outdoor grilling! I have found several stores (not just in the south) where you can get a FREE Bar-B-Q grill! This is not a joke. You can get a free BBQ grill from any of the following stores:

A&P
Albertsons
Costco
Food Lion
Fry's
Kroger
Big Lots
Brookshire's
Lowes
Publix
Safeway
Sam's Club
Target
Vons Wagner Hardware
Wal-Mart
Winn-Dixie

I especially like the higher rack, which can be used for keeping things warm!

Just make sure to get a metal one. The plastic ones don't do so well.

May 21: Bringing unsexy back

See what you think. ThePhoenix.com has published their 2007 list of unsexiest men. Warning to kids: ratings are PG-13.

I love you, sexy or not.

--Jen

May 20: Six lists of six things

Six things to do before I die:

sleep through the night without getting up to pee
get a kitten (hopefully my next husband won’t be allergic)
have a tidy home
go to the non-U.S. Disney parks
play tourist in New York City
lose my pregnancy weight

Six things I won’t do:

be nice to people that don’t deserve it
eat seafood
ride in a car cross-country
the dishes
mow the lawn—never have, never will
stop missing my dad

Six things that attract me to Victor:

He doesn’t pick fights with me
He prepares food for me and the kids OFTEN
He’s likeable—I don’t worry that he’ll piss people off
He has an amazing family that I adore
We share the same sense of humor
He doesn’t put my clothes through the dryer

Six things I say most often:

“I love you”
“Knock it off!!”
“What did I just say?”
“Sorry I haven’t called/written/showered…”
“What a mess!”
“I am so tired”

Six authors I really like:

Anne Tyler
Amy Krouse Rosenthal
Amy Tan
Armistead Maupin
Gregory Maguire
Dave & Jennifer Marx (“Passporter” guide writers)

Six movies I would watch over and over again:

(not because they’re my favorites, necessarily, but because I find them hugely entertaining!)

any of the Austin Powers series
When Harry Met Sally...
anything by Disney/Pixar
Fargo
Tommy Boy
the Pirates of the Caribbean series

May 20: Fridge bling, you make my heart sing

Somebody 'splain, please: new Gorenje product

Breathtaking? Um, why does a refrigerator need to be breathtaking? I can understand why you might want an appliance to be non-hideous. But a refrigerator that "delights your eye" and will "make your heart sing" is just trying way too hard. I mean, it only does one thing: it keeps stuff cold. It doesn't wash your dishes or grind up garbage or cook food or anything that actively makes life easier. It's. Just. Cold. Oh, and "tall and dark, a woman's dream"??? Hel-lo??? I can honestly say I've never dreamt of a refrigerator, let alone a tall and/or dark one. And how hard do you think it is to clean ketchup out of those crystals on the door handle? Oi.

That being said... Lori, you totally need this for your new kitchen.

May 19: "Museum" critique

We just finished watching "Night at the Museum," a surprisingly entertaining movie. It wasn't too scary for the kids but still suspenseful enough to keep Mom and Dad's attention. Besides Dick Van Dyke and Mickey Rooney being total bastards, I give it a thumbs up.

Oh yeah, and I love Ben Stiller. I also love Owen Wilson, much as I try not to. I did not love the Attila the Hun dude. I think he probably smelled bad.

Also movie related, it turns out there are only FOUR more days until Pirates. They're doing a limited opening on Thursday; some of the Portland theaters are running five or six showings that evening. This isn't necessarily good news for us, since Vic is really not wanting to take Jack to see the movie on its opening weekend, and starting it a day early is just more anxiety for Jack. Whatever will we do?

One more thing, a joke Orlando Bloom told on The Tonight Show the other night:

How do you know you’re a pirate?

You don’t know, you just aaaarrrrr.

--Jen

May 17: Go ahead, interrupt me

OK, I installed a little widget on the site so you can make comments in the middle of my posts. If you want to say a few words about something in the post, just select some text and a little link will pop up that says, "POST AN INLINE COMMENT?"; click the link to type your comment.

Text that has been commented on will appear in all caps and underlined. Hover over it to see what someone had to say.

If this is all just way too confusing for you, rest assured that you can still comment in the old-fashioned way. And also, everyone will then know that you're as bad with technology as Nana.

If no one uses this new thingie I'll take it off (that's what she said), but I thought it was worth trying out.

Many lovies. Be comment-y!

--Jen

May 16: More artsy, less fartsy

Hooray! Plans for the 2007 Girls' Weekend™ are being finalized. This year Debi, April and I are traveling south a few hours to attend the Oregon Shakespeare Festival and other productions in the Ashland area. We'll be seeing "The Tempest," "The Compleat Works of Wllm Shkspr (abridged)," and "Distracted." I know you're jealous. Don't deny it.

Previous Girls' Weekends™ were held in San Francisco, Boise and Los Angeles. This will be the first one that includes a road trip. I'm psyching myself up for it as we speak. And Debi, I promise I won't play The Carpenters in the car. You're welcome.

No husbands, no kids. Sounds super, hm? Sounds like something I'd like to do before July.

--Jen

May 16: Babies with arms

In the category of "now I've heard everything," I present this AP article found at katu.com (I bolded my favorite part!):

By Associated Press
CHICAGO (AP) - Bubba Ludwig can't walk, talk or open the refrigerator door - but he does have his very own Illinois gun permit.

The 10-month-old, whose given name is Howard David Ludwig, was issued a firearm owner's identification card after his father, Howard Ludwig, paid the $5 fee and filled out the application, not expecting to actually get one.

The card lists the baby's height (2 feet, 3 inches), weight (20 pounds) and has a scribble where the signature should be.

With some exceptions, the cards are required of any Illinois residents purchasing or possessing firearms or ammunition within the state. There are no age restrictions on the cards, an official said.

Illinois State Police oversee the application process. Their purpose, said Lt. Scott Compton, is to keep guns out of the hands of convicted felons, those under an order of protection and those convicted of domestic violence.

"Does a 10-month-old need a FOID card? No, but there are no restrictions under the act regarding age of applicants," he said.

Ludwig, 30, of Chicago, applied for the card after his own father bought Bubba a 12-gauge Beretta shotgun as a gift. The weapon will probably be kept at Ludwig's father's house until the boy is at least 14.

There must be some really stupid people governing Illinois. I hope they're prepared for the day Bubba turns 14 and is allowed to take his gun home from Grandpa's. That oughta be just about the right time for him to finally carry out that plan to shoot all his classmates.

May 15: See you in hell

It's wrong to speak ill of the dead, isn't it? Of course, it's also wrong to blame 9/11 on homosexuals.

Jerry Falwell died today. My heart goes out to his family, especially because he died suddenly, and I know how it feels to lose someone that way. Besides that, though, I have not one bit of sadness about this news. Jerry Falwell claimed to be on a mission of God while being incredibly hateful toward others, not to mention uninformed and ignorant. That does not sound like a mission his God would be very pleased about.

I read on a blog somewhere that Falwell is in hell now, being raped by the purple Teletubby. If there really is a God, I'm pretty sure he'd agree that's exactly what should happen for the rest of Falwell's afterlife. Love it!

Yep. I know I'm going to hell for saying these things. But I'll be in that section above the Bible-thumpers, where I can easily chuck my popcorn and soft drinks at them. And everyone around me will be doing the same thing. And then we'll high-five each other and sneak over to the section where we can hurl insults at the men who always insisted on wearing Speedos in public. It'll be a kick. Join me, won't you?

May 15: Roll, roll, roll in ze hay

Well, if you know even just a little bit about me and Victor, it's that we're unabashed fans of Broadway musicals. Both of our moms played soundtracks to all the big ones from the 60s and 70s at home and in the car when we were young, so blame them.

And if you know just a little bit more about us it's that we adored The Producers. We saw it once on tour in Seattle, and again when it had a long run in Hollywood, starring Jason Alexander and Martin Short. Fab. You. Luss.

Well, you can imagine our joy when we heard that Mel Brooks is working on a musical version of his film "Young Frankenstein" with the same collaborators he had on The Producers. And you can imagine that joy multiplied by millions when I received an e-mail yesterday that offered tickets to see said musical in Seattle during its preview run this summer.

Based on the smash hit 1974 film, YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN is the wickedly inspired re-imagining of the Mary Shelley classic from the comic genius of Mel Brooks. When Frederick Frankenstein, an esteemed New York brain surgeon and professor, inherits a castle and laboratory in Transylvania from his grandfather, deranged genius Victor van Frankenstein, he faces a dilemma. Does he continue to run from his family’s tortured past or does he stay in Transylvania to carry on his grandfather’s mad experiments reanimating the dead and, in the process, fall in love with his sexy lab assistant Inga?

YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN features music and lyrics by the three-time Tony Award winner Mel Brooks, book by Brooks and three-time Tony Award winner Thomas Meehan, and is directed and choreographed by five-time Tony Award winner Susan Stroman.

The only big name confirmed in the cast so far is Megan Mullally. She'll play the Teri Garr role, Inga.

Tickets go on sale to the general public sometime in June, but I bought ours this morning (one of the benefits to being a season ticket holder). Happy Birthday, Victor! We're seeing the show in early August.

May 13: On Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms in my life: my own mother, who has keenly demonstrated the importance of following one's heart; my sister, who is raising two amazing boys and is always willing to share ideas without being big-sister bossy; my mother-in-law, who has an infinite amount of patience and love for her family (and--thank god--is nothing like the ogrish MIL of legends!); my friends, many of them in the early stages of mom-ness like me, who are sounding boards and much-needed sympathetic ears; and my friends' moms, who have blessed my life by making some of the most fabulous people on this planet. Thank you! I love you all, and am proud to have such strong women in my life.

--Jen

This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up spit-up laced with hot dogs, birthday cake and fruit juice saying, "It's OK, honey, Mommy's here."

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T because they are busy working to put food on the table.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal bleachers at football or soccer games Friday night instead of watching from cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet like a tired 2-year-old who wants ice cream before dinner.

This is for mothers who have tearfully placed flowers and teddy bears on their children's graves. Whose children have died from illness, accidents and the worst of all and hardest to comprehend, suicides.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn't.

For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year, and then read it again, "just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who taught their sons to cook and sew and their daughters to be brave and strong. (And sink a jump shot.)

This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips sometimes until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.

What makes a good mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation. And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. Grandmothers whose wisdom and love remains a constant for their grown children and their children's children.

--Author unknown

May 11: Stuff I stole today

My head hurts. Bad. Like, so bad I'll scream if anyone asks me to do something or insists on talking to me or looks in my general direction. Not a good day for a "Mom & Me" brunch at preschool, but Jack says I must go anyway. Gah. Miss Crystal'll be sorry she invited me.

Also, I'm mad at computers today. Long story. Not interesting.

Since I am in no mood or shape to think up thoughts all by myself today, I'm going to use the age-old blogger's technique of borrowing from another web site. These things actually made me kinda chuckle this morning.

Lame joke du jour (oregonlive.com):

What's the definition of the word "aspect"?

What you get when you bend over a chicken coop.

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? (kgbreport.com)

Probable future names of Hershey's candies, adding to the progression of Kisses® to Hugs® (mcsweeneys.net):

Hershey's Kisses®
Hershey's Hugs®
Hershey's Handshakes
Hershey's Eye Contacts
Hershey's Awkward Silences
Hershey's Restraining Orders

Surprises in the new Spider-Man movie

Rummaging through the attic, Peter discovers that his kindly old Aunt May used to be his Uncle Jay.
Near the beginning of the movie, Spider-Man sits down and addresses the audience directly saying, "Having gotten your attention with the previous films, I'd like to spend the rest of this one talking to you about something very important to me - The Church of Scientology."
A surprising amount of screen time is devoted to Aunt May shopping for a new fanny pack.
That it is possible to make a third installation of a series without it degenerating into utter crap.
In the final shot, Spidey will reveal a new costume. It'll look exactly like his normal costume, but it'll have those armpit webs. Blackout! and roll credits.
Action sequences are padded with footage from Spidey's 70s-era educational appearances on The Electric Company. Also included, a whole scene in which he teaches the audience about conjunctions.
Following the trend set by the last two movies, now whenever characters make a self-referential comic book joke they will look at the camera, nod and wink.
In a bit of fan-service, Spidey and MJ will be caught in the rain again. To "up the ante" and add more sex appeal, MJ will be revealed to have a superfluous, yet large, third nipple.
Spider-Man and the New Goblin spend a tedious 20 minute sequence in which, in full costume, they enjoy a meal at Burger King. The only dialogue during this scene are the lines "Man, this is tasty!" "Mmm Mmm!" and "I'm having it MY way!" repeated several times.
Continuing the series' trend of giving the villains stronger ties to Spider-Man, Peter discovers that Sandman may have killed his Uncle Ben and Kraven the Hunter used to date his Uncle Jay. (capnwacky.com)

That's all for today, because I like you. Just don't ask me for nothin'.

--Jen
P.S. Fourteen days until the new Pirates of the Caribbean comes out. Jack reminds me of the countdown several times a day ever since Vic told him last Friday, "Jack, there's only 21 more days until we can go see the new Pirates movie!" I'm actually a little more excited about Ratatouille (49 more days).

May 10: Join my book club

This list is an oldie but goodie. It's also not too PC, for which I apologize. Sorta.

World’s Shortest Books

A Happy Home Life and Marriage
by Woody Allen
A Journey Through the Mind of Paris Hilton
American Foreign Policy Successes
Anagrams Of The Word “A”
Banjo Sonatas
Blind Dates That Worked Out
Bowler’s Guide to Health & Fitness
Burger King Menu Items That Start With “Mc”
Canadian Pineapple Growing
Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors
Cooking Gourmet Dishes With Tofu
Detroit - A Travel Guide
Different Ways To Spell “Bob”
Easy UNIX
English Culinary Delights
Fodor’s Guide to Skiing the Sahara
French Hospitality
Funny Puns
George Foreman’s Big Book of Baby Names
George W. Bush’s Guide to Promoting World Peace
Guide to Proper Nutrition
by Gandhi
Household Uses For Plutonium
How To Be A Successful Politician
by Jesse Jackson
How to Succeed in Baseball without Steroids
by Barry Bonds
Ice Recipes
Madonna’s Crusade for Family Values
Marcel Marceau’s Greatest Speeches
Moderation
by Donald Trump
Mother Teresa’s Guide To Erotic Pottery
My Beauty Secrets
by Janet Reno
My Favorite Barbers
by Yasser Arafat
National Directory Of Irish AA Members
On Human Rights
by Fidel Castro
Our Favorite Disco Songs
by Led Zeppelin
Romantic Words Beginning With “X”
Sainthood in Government
Sylvester Stallone’s Dramatic Acting Tips
The ABC’s of Gum Chewing
The American Medical Association’s Guide to Proper Penmanship
The Amish Phone Directory
The Appeal of Alan Thicke
The Book of Virtues
by Bill Clinton
The Carrot Top Fan Club Directory
The Difference Between Reality and Dilbert
The Total Vocabulary of Arnold Schwarzenegger
The Who’s Who of Great Republican Humanitarians
The Wit and Wisdom of Fundamentalist Islamic Extremists
Thoughts I Came Up with On My Own
by Ann Coulter
Things I Cannot Afford
by Bill Gates
Things That Look Like An Apple, Taste Like An Apple, But Are Not An Apple
Things You Can Buy At The World Artichoke Festival
Tolerance
by Jerry Falwell
Vice Presidents With Really Good Ideas
Zagat’s Guide to Cities without Starbucks

May 8: Oh, Biscuit limps ... got it

If you're like me, you assumed the band Dexy's Midnight Runners named themselves after a slow marathon team. You'd be wrong. Here's a fun web site that gives some of the history/background of unusual band names: Name Origins of Rock Bands

Seems that crap they taught us in our SDA grade schools about KISS = Kings In Satan's Service was wrong. I bet if you play the Beatles backwards they don't tell us to kill the neighbors either.

And while we're on the subject of music, here's a site that verifies that Ozzy Osbourne is NOT a Seventh-day Adventist: Famous SDAs. Where do these rumors get started, anyway? I think every controversial celebrity is/was rumored to have SDA blood at some point. I do know that the Little Richard story is true; he goes (or at least he used to go) to the Hollywood church. My friend Kirsten is on the pastoral staff there, so I know she wouldn't lie. Pastors never do anything immoral like lie.

My love for you will never end--

Jen

May 7: I think that I shall never see...

Here are just a few of the things I hope are never written before my name, before or after I die:

murderer (alleged, convicted, suspected, fugitive, or otherwise)
Pontiac Aztec-owner
swinger
Doodlebop
terrorist
Southern Baptist
Poodle Club of America member
odoriferous
model prisoner
habitually post-operative transsexual
racist
celebutante
Republican
leper
defendant
accidental porn star
Fatty Fatty Boombalatty

And things I'd love to see before my name someday:

gazillionaire philanthropist
supermodel
Saint (or Messiah... that'd be OK too)
ancient and revered Jedi Master
bobble-head doll
heiress
Mother (or Sister, Wife, Daughter, Friend, Neighbor, etc.) of the Year
henchwoman
largest jackpot winner in lottery history
heroine
cartoon character
best-selling author
mega-rock stars Sean & Steve Voss' aunt
Olympic gold medal winner in napping
Texas Hold 'Em champ
world traveler
TIME traveler!

What about you?

May 6: Should he or shouldn't he?

If your only comment here in months is solely to make fun of my cinematic ignorance (which I had openly admitted), you shall pay. And so, to prove this point, Martin is the latest Google victim. Here's what I found out when I Googled a Martin-related phrase.

Martin should...

stick to hot Latin numbers
remind China's leaders as forcefully as he can that human rights matter
meet with the Dalai Lama
watch a little less CNN
be a decent fantasy
go to Washington
have the genetic treatment
be an exception because he was a nice kid
have never married Gina
apologize
have definitely had a Greatest Hits by now
be retested in a month or two
have invited us
not have shot Fred
be impeached
always be about the proportions
have said, "Call me James or Jim"
not be surprised by the lopsided support
be the next Pope
know
serve a minimum of 35 years before being considered for parole
get with sandy and ruthie should get with the lad she met at the weddin they r so cute 2geva
buy three Magnums and throw one away
voiceover an ad
call, when he comes back to his senses
not be afraid
be taken out of his "bubble"
work on the inability to hide his bias
take a side trip to Scotland
have done what all my previous publicists did
be able to help you identify what to clean
be considered dangerous
have anthologized stories about breakfast cereal characters
be considered infectious
be very happy he has friends on the force
be spanked
have won a couple of Oscars
be easy to fix
be in the Hall of Fame
have the strawberry

There. I feel better. Have a great week!

--Jen

May 6: Try before you buy

May 6: Mother's Day story

I received a cute little “Mom” story in an e-mail this morning:

We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom. Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli.

Eli really loves ChapStick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my ChapStick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my ChapStick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.

Last year on Mother’s Day, we were having the typical rush-around-and-try-to-get-ready-for-church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood. We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli.

I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my ChapStick very carefully to Jack’s rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said “chapped.”

Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn’t seem to mind. And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat’s behind or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother’s Day moment ever, because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they’ve been using your ChapStick on the cat’s butt.

May 4: Misc. things

Lots to share today.

First, new Presley pics. We keep thinking she can't possibly get any cuter, but she keeps proving us wrong.

Also, my mom's cell phone hasn't been working for the past few days; it gets a "no service" message as though the signal isn't strong, but it has four bars on the signal thingie. I spent way too much time yesterday on the Cingular web site looking for some kind of network status information, assuming there was some problem in her area. Nope. Finally today she decided to call customer service and they asked if she'd tried turning the phone off and then turning it back on. That worked. She told me she felt so stupid, but I think I felt even stupider. Shouldn't I know that that's the first thing we try with electronics??? Gah, I'm a moron.

Also, my arm hurts. Last night I was getting worried because it started aching all the way from the middle of my chest down to my fingers, and even my hip was hurting. I was trying to remember what I had done that would make my body so sore, and then I started freaking out that maybe I have a tumor on my spine or multiple sclerosis or a deviated septum and then I remembered: I got a booster tetanus shot at the doctor yesterday. General achiness is supposedly normal.

Y'know how some people get the flu right after they get a flu shot? Like the flu shot actually gives them the flu? Is there any way the tetanus shot could induce idiocy? If so, I believe I would be an excellent case study.

I've been meaning to post pictures of Katie and Jack on their new bikes. They got training wheels off and have been zooming around the neighborhood ever since. I can't believe how quickly they caught on to two-wheeling, and how bossy they are if I get on my bike without a helmet. The pics are kinda blurry, but if you've ever tried to take digital photos of kids riding bikes then you know how hard it is to get them nice and clear.

Check out these cat pictures! The gangsta rap one is my favorite.

We've got a busy weekend coming up. If the weather stays nice, we'll be outside this evening with our neighbors, as has become our regular Friday night activity. Tomorrow Victor has a continuing education conference to attend, and Katie's going to a birthday party next door. Both kids have play dates. I have a bunch of work to do. I might even shower once or twice. And the dogs have a lot of napping planned for the next two days. We better get to it. Have a great weekend!

--Jen

May 4: Happy birthday, Sally!

It's my sister-in-law's birthday today. This is for you, Sal:

Hope you don't mind, I cut myself a piece. It was good, thanks for giving me an excuse to eat cake (like I would've waited).

Lovies from all of us!

May 3: My favorite people

THANK YOU to Sheila and Lori for playing along with my little game yesterday. You're the best!

Hear that, Kath?

ILY--

J.

May 3: Jen don't know movies

Alright. Time to document exactly what a loser I am, cinematically speaking. Here's AFI's Top 100 Films of All Time list. Most of these movies were made before I was even born, so that's my excuse for not seeing so many of them.

I noticed none of the Austin Powers movies show up here... hm...

“Citizen Kane” (1941)
Never saw it.
“Casablanca” (1942)
Only saw the parts that are always on clip shows
“The Godfather” (1972)
Meh. It was good even though I hate these kinds of movies.
“Gone With the Wind” (1939)
Overrated. Carol Burnett was a much better Scarlett.
“Lawrence of Arabia” (1962)
Never saw it
“The Wizard of Oz” (1939)
I know I saw this as a kid but I don’t remember it at all. I saw it as an adult when it was re-released in the late 90’s. Lamest special effects EVER. Plus, since seeing “Wicked,” I hate the way the green witch is portrayed.
“The Graduate” (1967)
I've only seen parts
“On the Waterfront” (1954)
Never saw it
“Schindler's List” (1993)
Never saw it, but I know it was totally inappropriate for Jerry and his girlfriend to make out while watching it.
“Singin' in the Rain” (1952)
Love it
“It's a Wonderful Life” (1946)
Nice holiday classic
“Sunset Boulevard” (1950)
Never saw it
“The Bridge on the River Kwai” (1957)
Isn’t the music of greyhound races from this movie? Never saw it.
“Some Like It Hot” (1959)
Guys in drag? Who wouldn’t love a movie with guys in drag??? Never seen it start to finish, but it's a fun flick.
“Star Wars” (1977)
Effects were way more impressive 30 years ago than when it was re-released more recently.
“All About Eve” (1950)
Never saw it.
“The African Queen” (1951)
Haven’t seen it, but I’ve been on the Jungle Cruise ride at Disneyland. Does that count?
“Psycho” (1960)
Creepy! But now that we know all the secrets (blood was actually chocolate sauce, etc.) it's more funny than anything else.
“Chinatown” (1974)
Never saw it
“One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest” (1975)
Haven’t ever seen the whole thing, but I will someday
“The Grapes of Wrath” (1940)
Never saw it
“2001: A Space Odyssey” (1968)
Never saw it
“The Maltese Falcon” (1941)
Never saw it
“Raging Bull” (1980)
Never saw it
“E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial” (1982)
Way overrated but a lot less scary than I expected at 14
“Dr. Strangelove” (1964)
Never saw it
“Bonnie and Clyde” (1967)
Never saw it
“Apocalypse Now” (1979)
Never saw it
“Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” (1939)
I’ve only seen the parodies of this one (sad, hm?)
“The Treasure of the Sierra Madre” (1948)
Never saw it
“Annie Hall” (1977)
Never saw it
“The Godfather, Part II” (1974)
I remember not one thing about this, but I know I've seen it. Don't care for mafia movies unless Leslie Nielsen is in them.
“High Noon” (1952)
Never saw it. But I have seen “Shanghai Noon” ...
“To Kill a Mockingbird” (1962)
My favorite book ever; the movie was a lot better than I expected.
“It Happened One Night” (1934)
Never saw it
“Midnight Cowboy” (1969)
Never saw it
“The Best Years of Our Lives” (1946)
Never saw it, haven't even heard of it
“Double Indemnity” (1944)
Never saw it
“Doctor Zhivago” (1965)
Never saw it
“North by Northwest” (1959)
Never saw it, but hasn't every “Airplane” type movie spoofed it?
“West Side Story” (1961)
Love the music
“Rear Window” (1954)
Never saw it
“King Kong” (1933)
I’ve seen more realistic Claymation. Sorry, these old-timey special effects are just soooo bad. I think people make a big deal out of this movie because they think they should, not because they really think it's that great.
“The Birth of a Nation” (1915)
Never saw it
“A Streetcar Named Desire” (1951)
Never saw it, but I loved when they did “Oh, Streetcar!” on The Simpsons
“A Clockwork Orange” (1971)
Never saw it
“Taxi Driver” (1976)
Never saw it
“Jaws” (1975)
Awesome, totally suspenseful and scary. My sister wouldn’t take baths for years after seeing this.
“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (1937)
If you can get past Snow White’s voice, it’s good. Too scary for kids.
“Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” (1969)
Never saw it
“The Philadelphia Story” (1940)
Never saw it
“From Here to Eternity” (1953)
Liked it
“Amadeus” (1984)
Never saw it
“All Quiet on the Western Front” (1930)
Never saw it
“The Sound of Music” (1965)
Um, best musical EVER??? Totally!
“MASH” (1970)
Funny. I saw it long after the TV show, and it was so much more risque, it was shocking.
“The Third Man” (1949)
Never saw it, haven't even heard of it
“Fantasia” (1940)
Longest music video ever.
“Rebel Without a Cause” (1955)
Never saw it
“Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981)
Great action film
“Vertigo” (1958)
Never saw it
“Tootsie” (1982)
Great
“Stagecoach” (1939)
Never saw it
“Close Encounters of the Third Kind” (1977)
Don’t remember seeing it
“The Silence of the Lambs” (1991)
Gave me nightmares for months. Creepy but really, really well done.
“Network” (1976)
Don’t remember seeing it
“The Manchurian Candidate” (1962)
Never saw it
“An American in Paris” (1951)
Never saw it
“Shane” (1953)
One of Dad’s favorites, but I don’t remember anything about it
“The French Connection” (1973)
Never saw it
“Forrest Gump” (1994)
Great
“Ben-Hur” (1959)
Meh. Adventists use this movie as an excuse to watch TV on Sabbath.
“Wuthering Heights” (1939)
I’ve seen newer versions of this and hated it. Hated the book too. And who names their major character “Heathcliff”???
“The Gold Rush” (1925)
Huh?
“Dances With Wolves” (1990)
Never understood the hype
“City Lights” (1931)
Never saw it, haven't even heard of it
“American Graffiti” (1973)
Loved it. Even ate at the diner in San Francisco a few years ago.
“Rocky” (1976)
I hate Sylvester Stallone and boxing movies, but this was OK, I guess
“The Deer Hunter” (1978)
Never saw it
“The Wild Bunch” (1969)
Never saw it, haven't even heard of it
“Modern Times” (1936)
Never saw it
“Giant” (1956)
Dad’s all-time fav movie. He sent me on a mission to find it on DVD a few years ago and was thrilled when I finally got it. I never sat down to watch it though.
“Platoon” (1986)
Never saw it
“Fargo” (1996)
Hated it the first time I saw it, but have loved it ever since. It took me a while to warm to it, I guess.
“Duck Soup” (1933)
Never saw it
“Mutiny on the Bounty” (1935)
Never saw it, but newer versions are interesting
“Frankenstein” (1931)
Never saw it. Loved “Young Frankenstein”!
“Easy Rider” (1969)
Never saw it
“Patton” (1970)
Never saw it
“The Jazz Singer” (1927)
Never saw it but it was the first “talkie,” right? Dad loved the Neil Diamond version so I've seen that one a million times.
“My Fair Lady” (1964)
Music is fab-u-lous.
“A Place in the Sun” (1951)
Never saw it
“The Apartment” (1960)
One of my favorite old flicks.
“GoodFellas” (1990)
Meh. This is so not my kind of movie.
“Pulp Fiction” (1994)
Never saw it
“The Searchers” (1956)
Never saw it, haven't even heard of it
“Bringing Up Baby” (1938)
Never saw it
“Unforgiven” (1992)
Not my favorite genre, but this was good
“Guess Who's Coming to Dinner” (1967)
Never saw it
“Yankee Doodle Dandy” (1942)
Never saw it

May 2: All about Jen

OK, I want someone to play with, mmkay? Copy this stuff into a comment and answer the questions for yourself. I'll come after you if you don't. You know I will.

What is your favorite color?
navy blue
What is your favorite TV show?
The Office
What was your first car?
Toyota Corolla
What was your first crush’s name?
Donald. I was in 4th grade, he was in 6th.
What is your greatest fear?
spiders
What's your favorite non-alcoholic beverage?
brewed iced tea
What's your favorite alcoholic beverage?
just about anything with Midori in it
What is your all-time favorite movie?
I have to pick just one? No way! Um... probably White Christmas
Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
lots
Have you ever been on a blind date?
nope
Have you ever peed your pants after age 8?
while awake? no.
Have you ever performed on a stage?
yes, and I was fabulous! (throws arm in the air)
Have you ever made out in a movie theatre?
no, I would miss part of the movie
Have you been roller skating since 8th grade?
I can't remember, so probably not
Have you ever made a person?
yup, two
Have you ever set off the security alarm in a store?
not because I stole anything
Can you whistle?
yes
Can you belch the alphabet?
yes, but it's so much work I'm not really proud of it
Can you gleek?
not on command
Can you blow a bubble?
yes
Can you roll your tongue in a circle?
no
Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
no
Can you cross your eyes?
yes
Can you dance?
I guess so, but it ain't pretty. Let me belch the alphabet for you instead.
Can you write legibly with both hands?
nope, and barely with one
Can you stay up a whole night without sleep?
yes, but I'm grouchy for days afterward
Can you speak a different language?
not fluently
Can you impersonate someone?
no, but that doesn't stop me from trying
Can you make a card pyramid?
yes, is this difficult?
Who was the last person to tell you they love you?
my sweet boy Jack-Jack
Who was the last person to call your cell phone?
My seester. I was working and she left a message and I haven't called her back yet.
Who was the last person to buy you something?
Vic got my dinner last night
Who was the last person to go with you to the movies?
Vic--we saw Blades of Glory a couple weeks ago
Who was the last person to text message you?
Kathy
Who was the last person to e-mail you?
someone from work
Who was the last person to make you laugh really hard?
probably Vic or Kathy
When was the last time you held a newborn baby?
end of January, when Alisa's baby girl was born
When was the last time you changed a diaper?
hooray, I can't remember!
What celebrity would you like to portray you in a movie of your life?
Jennifer Aniston
What celebrity would your friends say should play you in a movie of your life?
Jennifer Coolidge
What celebrity would you like to meet in person?
Tina Fey
What celebrity would you like to punch in the face?
oh geez, the list is long... very very long...
What TV family or group do you wish you could be part of?
I don't know
Who would drop whatever they’re doing just to listen to you cry or complain?
my mommy
Who would dedicate a song on the radio to you, and what song would it be?
Kathy, "Sisters" (dur)
What piece of electronics would you not want to live without?
TiVo! I would die without my beloved TiVo!
What was the last movie you watched?
Spiderman 2 on TV last night
Who is the last person you called?
Vic
Where did you go on your last vacation?
Orlando and the Caribbean
What's the last book you read?
Double Trouble in Walla Walla
What's the last computer game you played?
Spider Solitaire
What's the last restaurant you ate at?
Macaroni Grill
What shoes did you last wear?
black Rockport loafers
What's the last store you were in?
Albertsons
What's the last song you heard?
"Heartlight" (Neil Diamond) after ET-related trivia on a morning radio show. I switched back over to NPR right away.

If someone doesn't respond soon I'm going to be very upset.

--Jen

May 1: Spiffed up

I did some spring cleaning at manullang.com today. I just felt it was time for it to look like a girl lives here.

I also want to point out that I wrote 31 entries here in April alone. That averages out to more than one per day (yes, that math degree is still very far from reach). It's also more than I posted for the entire year of 2005. At this rate, well... don't hold your breath. Besides, you're probably thinking, "quality, not quantity, Jen!"

Oh, just bite me.

facts of jen's life

So, who do you think you are? I think I’m Jen. People who don’t know me sometimes call me Jenny. That’s weird.

Tell me about yourself. I was born a small black child, and am now a grown-up, or at least my kids think I am. I’m in my mid-40s and live in the ‘burbs of Portland, Oregon. My husband is Victor, and my kids are Katie and Jack. Read this if you want the real and very long scoop.

Tell me things people might not know about you. I am an ordained minister and can perform marriages. Why no one has asked me to do this for them yet, I do not know. ● At the request of my Disney-hating friend Ed, I got mouse ears embroidered with the name “Satan” and I didn’t even get kicked out of Disneyland. It’s quite possibly the ballsiest thing I’ve ever done. ● I “helped” write this book, published in 2012: You Take it From Here, by Pamela Ribon. My name is in the back, and I’m still geeking out about it. ● I recorded a song in a studio in 1994 and it got local radio play for a few months. At least two times I turned on the radio in the car and my song was playing at that moment—very cool. ● I nearly died from a zit in 1986. I am not making this up. ● Victor and I once appeared on The Tonight Show. Really. If you can find a VCR, I’ll show you the tape.

I read some of your posts and I think you might be an alcoholic. I drink way less than I write about drinking. If I ever STOP talking about booze, then it’ll be time for an intervention.

What do you love? Books. Coffee. Fonts. Broadway musicals. San Francisco. Bacon. Rum. Law & Order. Naps. Butter. Home. Crack cocaine. iDevices. Words. Disney vacations. You.

If you could punch anything or anyone in the face, what/who would it be? Cancer. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in November 2009. I kicked its big fat ugly ass and am in remission now. ● Comic Sans. ● People who won’t take responsibility for their problems—the “I didn’t do anything to deserve this!” attitude. Look in the mirror. That’s who to blame. ● Celebrities who are famous for no reason. Y’know, if we stop looking, they’ll go away... ● Bad grammar and spelling and the dummies who use it.

You seem bitter. Did someone piss in your Cheerios? I’m not bitter. I think unicorns-and-rainbows stuff isn’t very interesting to read, so I tend not to write that way. But also, now you’re being kind of a jackhole.

It seems like no one ever comments on your blog posts. Why is that? Most people comment on the Facebook links. I don’t know why.

What if I want to tell you something? Two ways to reach me: leave a comment on a post, or e-mail me at jenniferTAKETHISPARTOUTmanullang at gmail-dot-com.