Jan. 20: Inaugural chuckles

There was lots of live twittering today, and so much of it was utter perfection, it’d be a crime not to share with you. As an added bonus, I’m including links to these twitterers so you can follow them if you’d like. You really should.

InsoOutso Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that Cheney's pulled muscle was a paper shredder injury?

secretsquirrel Of course, Bush's legacy will live on, as Obama will probably be finding Pokemon cards down the back of the White House couch for weeks.

essdogg Attn Southern GOP: snow forecast today across Dixie, so that makes it official...hell has frozen over. Viva Obama!

KatyDidSays I hear Bush wrote a really nice letter for Obama's first day. It said: O-Man, Sry I wreked yer country. GL fixin everything I f'd up. LOL!

InsoOutso John Cusak was attending the celebration, however he was quickly arrested when he approached President Obama with a boombox over his head.

Moltz Here are the keys to the House. You gotta jiggle it a little bit because it sticks. Trash pickup's on Monday. Screens are in the attic. Uh..

secretsquirrel With the weather in Washington being a brisk -1 C / 30 F, Obama something something Presidential Tauntaun.

Moltz Michelle Obama is beautifully dressed in a design by Cuban designer Toledo. Mrs. Bush, meanwhile, is wearing what appears to be a gray sack.

mcbrowney Laura Bush looks like she's still in her pajamas

SeoulBrother Guys, no spoilers please. I'm recording this.

blurb Rick Warren should have prayed for more tolerance for himself and announced that God wants marriage for everyone.

gordonshumway I JOSEPH BIDEN JUNIOR DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I CAN'T CONTROL THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE.

essdogg Rick Warren nailed it! For a minute I forgot he's a bigoted douchebag full of high-minded hate and hypocrisy.

gordonshumway Thanking Bush for his service to our nation is like thanking the bank teller for not shitting himself while the vault got robbed.

Moltz Love how every fricking thing he's saying is "I'm totally going to undo the last 8 years" with Bush right there.

CcSteff If Bush and Cheney weren't sociopaths, they'd wish they could sink through the chairs and disappear from view.

Moltz This guy gives a good speech. He's gonna go far one day.

essdogg If you'll excuse me I seem to have something in my eye

gordonshumway Um, the mightiest word isn't "love". It's Beetlejuice, especially when said three times in rapid succession.

gordonshumway When brown can stick around? When yellow can be mellow? Is he encouraging us not to flush?

essdogg It's gonna be tough for Obama to get anything done if people keep crying when he walks into the room.

bcompton Come on, Canada. You know you want Obama to be your President, too. We'll slide you guys in ahead of Alaska; we hate those guys.

Moltz MSNBC coverage summed up: Chris Matthews turns everything into a ridiculous simplification and everyone else says "Uh, no..."

KatyDidSays Ok, now that the speech is over can I start complaining about my cramps? What? It's *never* ok to complain about that? Oh, ok. Sorry.

Moltz OK, got some forms for you to sign. Keycard. Box of business cards. Supply cabinet's over there. Fill out your time cards on Friday.

essdogg Let's take a moment to lament the fact that we're still stuck with the REAL most-hated man in American politics: Wolf Blitzer.

SeoulBrother I'm going to find a lunch counter to eat at.

Moltz OMG, festive cupcakes with red, white and blue star sprinkles in the cafeteria! Can this day get any better?!

Moltz So, I'm sorry, I must have missed this. They start sending us checks from all the money they take from the rich when? Tomorrow, or...?

AinsleyofAttack So, now that that's over, who's up for a game of murderball against Dick Cheney?

InsoOutso HOLY SHIT THEY REALLY ARE PAINTING IT BLACK! What? Sun's down? Damn.

InsoOutso Senator Ted Kennedy might have laid down, but Senator Jesse Helms rolled over.

secretsquirrel First thing I'd do if I was Obama? Change all the damn locks.

Finally, two of today’s headlines over at The Onion:
Obama Inauguration Speech Ruined By Incessant Jackhammering
and
Hillary Clinton Mouthing Along To Presidential Oath