You know those vegetarians who are all holier-than-thou? Like, just because they don’t eat God’s adorable little creatures they think they’re better than the rest of us who love to gnaw on cows? I hate those vegetarians. The ones who do it for health reasons, whatev—they’re harmless. But in my opinion, the best kinds of vegetarians are the ones who don’t blab about it all the time. I also like the ones who still refuse to eat my pizza even if I take off the pepperoni for them. They know the commandment of all pizzas sacred: ye should have ordered thine own, ye veggie freak!
Anyhoo, since I was raised around a bunch of those Jesus-freak salad shooters, I take it upon myself to make fun of them, because it’s their attitude that made me hate all that crap people say they do “in the name of God.” Pointing and judging right back at them is super-duper fun, I tell ya, which is why this picture made me HHOL (hee-haw out loud):
I know, I know. I’m going straight to hell.
lmao - you can take the pepperoni off my pizza and I'll gladly eat it for you any day. In fact, all I heard was free food.
ReplyDeleteHere are a couple of bumper sticker quotes that I saw recently:
ReplyDelete"There's plenty of room for all God's creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes."
"I'm a member of PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals"
Silly...but funny nonetheless. :)
Ted M.
You're just jealous of their oompa-loompa glow.
ReplyDeleteThe carnies don't have to make regular Costco runs for Beano :)
ReplyDeleteOMG! You are reading my mind with this one. How do you do that? I could never figure out why all those 'I don't eat meat' Jesus-freaks were all so much larger than any other vegetarian I've ever met. Must be all that textured vegetable protein and potluck jello.
ReplyDeleteOh, and about hell. I'll be in hell with ya, sister! We'll have cocktails, dancing, wear lots of jewelry and reeeally short skirts. We'll munch on slabs of meat and have a jolly old time.
lmao - you can take the pepperoni off my pizza and I'll gladly eat it for you any day. In fact, all I heard was free food.
ReplyDelete