Mar. 31: A nothing-esque post

I have nothing to say. Nothing. I do, however, have these two photos from Passive Aggressive Notes, which, in case you haven’t already checked it out, is quite the entertaining site. Any parent can appreciate these two notes, I think:

Don’t want to leave it at that—what a weak post that would be, huh?!—so I pulled a meme out of my “crap to post when I have nothing to say” folder. Here ya go.

1. How far away is the last person you kissed?
   Um, 10 miles? I think that’s how far away the hospital is from our house.
2. Last person you were in a car with?
   Kim F’n
3. Who was the last person you talked to?
   Same one I kissed—Victor
4. Have you seen anyone lately that you don’t get along with?
   Yup, but I was civil because I’m so incredibly mature <cough>
5. What was the last movie you watched?
   Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I’ve been wanting to see it since before it came out, and we finally rented it last week. We walked out of the stage musical because we thought it was so horrible, but I ended up really, really liking the movie. Very graphic, depressing, all that… but so well done. I’m not a big Tim Burton fan at all, but the man has a way of filming his vision of a story that really works. (P.S. Watching with captions on helped. Woulda been nice to have them for the stage musical.)
6. Do you like rain?
   If I didn’t, it’d be stupid to live where I do. I hate hard rain, but the drizzly stuff doesn’t bother me. And we have so much green green green all spring and summer, it makes the grey winter worth it.
7. How long do you take in the shower?
   These days my showers could be just a few minutes long, but I usually take 10-15 minutes anyway.
8. Do you like your hair long or short?
   I like hair. I wish I had some.
9. Best friend or close friends?
   Both
10. Where would you like to be right now?
    On a warm beach
11. Have you ever thrown up in public?
    Yes, on a plane. I was quiet and kept it all contained, so it could’ve been much, much worse. Still, I was waaay embarrassed.
12. What was your favorite subject (or specific class) in school?
    In grade school, I loved spelling. In high school, English. In college, modern poetry and business ethics were probably my two favorite classes.
13. What was your least favorite subject (or specific class) in school?
    Math, always. My least favorite college course was business law.
14. What is your favorite color shirt to wear?
    Probably red
15. What’s the closest thing to you that’s green?
    One of my beading tools
16. Write down some lyrics to the song you’re listening to.
    Oh, I wish you could meet my girlfriend
    My girlfriend who lives in Canada
    She couldn’t be sweeter, I wish you could meet her
    My girlfriend who lives in Canada
    (by the closeted Bert-like character, Rod, from the Avenue Q soundtrack, which is hilarious)
17. How many pets do you have?
    Three—one cat and two dogs
18. What made you laugh today?
    Some emails
19. What were you doing at 7:00 this morning?
    Trying to sleep—what’s wrong with me lately? I can’t sleep.
20. If you could go back one month and change something, would you?
    Probably, but I can’t think of what it would be, so I’m not gonna bother

Mar. 30: Post-it Note Tuesday #4

Time again for Jen to be a lazy blogger by blogging on Post-its. Play along on your own blog if you’d like. Here’s the link to the Post-it Note maker, and here’s where you put a link to your blog and visit other Post-it Note Tuesday participants.

Mar. 28: BFF/Little Sis Weekend haiku

A sisters retreat 
Food, drinks, laughs, and a tattoo
The perfect weekend

 

Five altogether
Meet at Lori’s giant house
It’s dark! Leave bread crumbs!

 

So many bathrooms
Still, Kathy’s stuff’s all over
Jen will model it

 

Pole dancers unite
In living room number three
Swing, you sexy babes!

 

Multi-purpose pole
Also gets dart off skylight
Lori! Please don’t fall!

 

Kathy stumbles, trips
“Damn new-fangled vent cover!”
Now she has a bruise

 

Big cardboard Hayden
“Put him in Brenda’s shower!”
No scream? Big letdown.

 

Margaritas flow
Machine can make so many
Keep ‘em coming, Kim

 

Kath’s up. “Gotta pee.
That was a floor squeak! It was!
Stop laughing, bitches.”

 

Noise in the bushes!
Larry’s telephoto lens?
We’ll put on a show

 

Brenda is pantsless
Kim and Kathy are mooning
Jen and Lori? Clothed.

 

Late Sunday morning
Tattoo time! Drop your pants, Kim
This won’t hurt a bit

 

Jen photographs Kim
(Specifically, her tanned bum)
Jen can’t help the tears

 

Green and pink ribbon
Honoring sister Kari
Brenda and Jen, too

 

Fun sisters’ weekend
So much love, laughter, friendship
Forever treasured.

 

I love you, girls. Thanks for such a great weekend! You are all amazing, strong, charming women, and I’m proud to call you mine. ♥

Mar. 28: Stand Back Up

Kathy found this song and has decided it’s, like, a big ol’ middle finger to cancer. I have to agree. Here’s the mp3:

Sugarland - Stand Back Up Found at abmp3 search engine

And here are the lyrics:

Go ahead and take your best shot
Let ‘er rip, give it all you’ve got
I’m laid out on the floor, but I’ve been here before
I may stumble, yeah I might fall
I’m only human but aren’t we all?
I might lose my way, but hear me when I say

I will stand back up
You’ll know just the moment when I’ve had enough
Sometimes I’m afraid, and I don’t feel that tough
But I’ll stand back up

I’ve been beaten up and bruised
I’ve been kicked right off my shoes
Been down on my knees more times than you’d believe
When the darkness tries to get me
There’s a light that just won’t let me
It might take my pride, and tears may fill my eyes
But I’ll stand back up

I’ve weathered all these storms
But I just turn them into wind, so I can fly
What don’t kill you makes you stronger
When I take my last breath
That’s when I’ll just give up

So, go ahead and take your best shot
Let ‘er rip, give it all you’ve got
You might win this round but you can’t keep me down

‘Cause I’ll stand back up
And you’ll know just the moment when I’ve had enough
Sometimes I’m afraid and I don’t feel that tough
But I’ll stand back up

You’ll know just the moment when I’ve had enough
Sometimes I’m afraid and I don’t feel that tough
But I’ll stand back up

Love it.

Mar. 27: Girls’ weekend

We have finally arrived at the time for the long-awaited girls’ weekend at Loveliest Lori’s house. The party’s been going for days already with Kathy, Brenda, and the aforementioned Loveliest Lori; Kim F’n and I are headed down to crash the party today. We are to play the parts of Pesky Little Sisters 1 and 2. We will rock those roles, you can be f’n sure.

Lo, the mischief in which we are sure to find ourselves, as one of the locations we’ll visit practices the art of tattooery. In my suitcase I have packed additional items to ensure many Kodak moments, including a pole for dancing, several bottles of rum, and my fanciest new shirt…

…which, when removed from its frame and worn, looks something like this:

For Curt D, Ken M, Larry B, Victor M, and lord-knows-who-else, your requests will most certainly be added to our list of photos to post on Facebook throughout the weekend:

• pillow fights
• IV pole dancing while dressed as naughty nurses
• naked gymnastics show in one of Loveliest Lori’s curtain-less living rooms
• everyone sleeping in one big bed

As any one of these things will make your heads explode, let me speak for all of us when I say it was glorious lovely pleasant scary knowing you. You may be missed. Possibly not.

More later. I promise.

Mar. 25: ‘Spensive twitter

Try not to be jealous. Or ask me for a loan.

$17

Created by WhatsMyTwitterAccountWorth.com

Mar. 24: Blockage-ness

I’ve been in a blogging slump lately. It may not be noticeable to anyone else, but it is to me. I’ve also been reading books less, to the point that I could almost say I’m not reading at all. And Facebooking less. And Twittering less, although that’s not too unusual. I can’t seem to concentrate for very long at a time. I don’t know when this all started, nor what caused it, but I don’t like it.

I think I would feel better, maybe even re-energized, if I went on vacation. Everyone I know is on vacation this week and they’re so whistling-out-their-arses-happy, it makes me want to stab them a little. I want to be that happy too. I’m not really unhappy right now, but I think I’d be happier at Disneyland. Or in France. Or Hawaii. I’m totally easy to please, vacation-wise.

If I went on vacation, I’d have something to blog about, and that would be a good thing. And I would probably read a book on vacation because that’s what I do when I’m on vacation. And I would post constant updates on Facebook about my vacation, because that would totally jealousify my Facebook friends and why else would a person go on vacation but to jealousify their friends?

(My concentration problems have not adversely affected my ability to make up words, obvy.)

So I’m not reading or writing, and I’m doing as little ‘rithmetic as possible. The problem? It’s making me stupid. Lately I always think I smell smoke. I can’t remember semi-important things, like Jack’s birthdate and not to fall down stairs twice. Sometimes I forget to eat. I try to calculate things that have no keys on a calculator. Stuff’s making me mad, too, like reality shows—Celebrity Apprentice, really? Is anyone still watching that shiat?—and hay fever and stuff that needs ironing and people who think our healthcare system is fine the way it is and that new Jack in the Box commercial and drivers who block the intersection and the very noisy frogs in the pond behind our house and Sandra Bullock’s jackass of a husband and hangnails and people who are famous for no reason whatsoever. Also, Brazil nuts. Why do they think they’re so special?

Don’t lie to me and say none of those things would change if I went on vacation. I know they would. I’ve been on vacation before, and I know what it does to a person’s psyche. It would make me normal again. It would make me not care about those damn frogs. And I’m quite sure it would help me remember the answer to FOUR + WAFFLE.

Mar. 23: Post-it Note Tuesday #3

You know the drill by now, right? Here’s the link to the Post-it Note maker, and here’s where you put a link to your blog and visit other Post-it Note Tuesday participants. Have fun! Be nice! Make friends!