Apr. 27: Oink

My throat started feeling scratchy last night and this morning I woke up with a full-on sore throat, swollen glands, etc. Of course, my first thought is that I probably  have that swine flu because that’s exactly the kind of thing that happens to me. Besides, my body’s probably looking for another excuse to go to the emergency room; the new one just opened at our (“our”!) hospital and I have not yet had the privilege of being a patient there. My brain has no interest in going to the emergency room, but my body knows that’s where they keep the good drugs.

Symptoms - such as fever, body ache, extreme fatigue, sore throat, and dry cough - begin showing in adults one to four days after being infected. (from livescience.com)

See? All the symptoms are there. OK, so I don’t have a fever. Or body aches. But I’m always tired! And my throat hurts! I’m not coughing, but I did almost choke yesterday when someone said something funny while I was eating a strawberry. So I’m pretty sure I’ve got swine flu. Also, you know how trendy I can be...

Last night I watched a bunch of TiVo’d episodes of The New Adventures of Old Christine—one of the funniest shows on television, by the way—and in one there was a lice breakout at Richie’s school. So naturally, I had a dream about lice last night. They weren’t just regular ol’ lice, though; they were super lice (swine flu lice?) that could be seen from far away and sat on our heads like coonskin caps but were alive and mean. And before you start blaming this dream wackiness on alcohol, I haven’t had any for weeks, unless Cristina spiked Mack’s party punch yesterday and that would be kinda inappropriate at an eight-year-old’s First Communion reception.

Anyhoo.

So, I’ve got swine flu and now I’m going to work—at the hospital!—to spread it work on a database. If I die of this pandemic before I can blog again, it’s been lovely to know you all.