Jun. 14: Brusha brusha brusha

I brush my teeth in the shower. Sometimes if the subject comes up, people tell me that’s weird, brushing one’s teeth in the shower. I’ve done it ever since I moved out of the dorm 20 years ago, so I don’t think it’s weird anymore. My dad—who never thought he had a bad idea in his life—said it saved time, and I believed him. I still do.

What sucks is when I’m away from home and forget to take my toothbrush into the shower with me and then forget to brush my teeth altogether. I’m a total tooth-brusher; forgetting to brush my teeth is like forgetting to get dressed. And yet, it happens. Not often, but often enough that I realize I should not break my habit of brushing my teeth in the shower because that means it will get done and if that’s what it takes to get the job done, who am I to change the system?

(Did I just say two things two times in that sentence? Did I? I think I did.)

I keep a toothbrush near the bathroom sink, too, in case I need to brush my teeth without showering. Like, y’know, most nights. And Saturdays. And sometimes Sundays. Occasionally Mondays.

Why am I telling you this? Knowing that I brush my teeth in the shower is important as I share the following story.

I started using a new toothbrush recently, one with a dentist’s name printed on it. This particular dentist is my friend’s husband. I haven’t seen him as a patient, but since I’m ready for a new dentist, I’ve been thinking about going to him, even though his office isn’t nearby. Every time I think “I need to find a new dentist,” I think about all the things that go with it: making sure our insurance covers that dentist, making that first appointment in which I have to fill out so many forms, lying to the hygienist about how often I floss, making sure I’m whisker-free before each appointment. Y’know, the usual. It’s a lot to consider. That’s why I’ve been putting off the task.

But here’s the thing. Every morning since I started using that new toothbrush, these thoughts go through my head, and in this case, they’re all because I see Dr. Friend’s Husband’s name on my toothbrush. So as I think those thoughts, I picture Dr. Friend’s Husband as that new dentist. And y’know how when you’ve first wakened and your thoughts are kinda slow and foggy and suddenly you realize you’ve been thinking about one thing for ten minutes?

It is a very odd thing to think about a friend’s husband while showering.

It is a very odd thing to think about a friend’s husband while showering EVERY MORNING.

I do believe that it’s time to switch out my toothbrush for one without my friend’s husband’s name on it, or stop brushing my teeth in the shower… and risk forgetting to brush my teeth altogether.