Jun. 18: Normalcy

A couple weeks ago I had lunch with Loveliest Lori, Sunshine, and Kim F’n. Except for a little bit of update on my hair growth, there was almost no mention of cancer the entire lunch long. I didn’t even think about it until hours later, while reflecting on the conversation. That was a very happy realization, especially considering that many of our lunch conversations in the past few months have been about nothing BUT cancer.

This past week I reconnected with a friend who was one of my best playmates when I was a kid. This evening I emailed her a brief update of the past 25+ years; I re-read the message after writing it, edited here and there, clicked “send,” and then realized I hadn’t mentioned cancer once. Not once.

There was a time not so long ago that I couldn’t imagine going more than a few minutes without a reminder that cancer is a part of my life. “Normal” is not overrated, no matter what you might have heard.

I love the idea of cancer becoming a footnote in the story of my life. I look forward to walking past a mirror and having something besides “cancer” being the first thought in my head. I dream of having energy again. Of going more than three weeks between needle pokes. I hope that someday I’ll be complaining about having to shave so often. That I’ll run out of shampoo. That I’ll need mascara and an eyelash curler. A ponytail holder. A blow dryer. Hair spray. A hat that’s for fun, not necessity.

Someday.

Until then, these baby steps make me smile big.