July 6: Can you trust a fat food critic?

We were talking about seeing Ratatouille again today and I've had that mean old food critic, Anton Ego, on the brain. So... guess what, it’s critique time. For Jen... Ego.

Like most people, we tend to go to the same restaurants over and over. These are the ones in our area and what we like to order there.

• Applebees - Love the Santa Fe chicken salad, buffalo ranch chicken sandwich, and maple butter blondie dessert.
  
• Baja Fresh - the only thing I ever order here is the steak burrito Ultimo with no veggie mix (peppers and other gross stuff). It’s delicious. Vic gets the chicken Ultimo. Every time I’ve tried something different I don’t like it.
  
• Bellagio’s Pizza - Their crust is chewy and delicious. Love their variety of sauces too. Expensive.
  
• Burger King - I rarely eat here. I don’t like microwaved burgers.
  
• Burgerville - The plain ol’ cheeseburger is deeeeelicious. Vic usually gets the Tillamook pepper bacon burger. Gotta love their seasonal specials—right now they’re fresh strawberry milkshakes and lemonade and shortcake—and the Mocha Perk shake.
  
• California Pizza Kitchen - My favorite pizza lately is the pear gorgonzola with honey wheat pizza crust. Yum.
  
• Chart House - Haven’t been here in a while, but I always liked the filet.
  
• Chevy’s - I love their chips and salsa and made-to-order guacamole. I think the flautas are pretty good, and I also like the steak fajita burrito. And that sweet corn stuff they put on all the plates is tay-STEE.
  
• Chili’s - Chicken tacos. Their appetizers are good too.
  
• Claim Jumper - So far I haven’t tried anything that wasn’t downright mouth-watering. I mean, it’s comfort food, so what can be bad about that?
  
• Gustav’s - Fondue (or as my cousin Deanna says, fondon’t). They have a chicken-apples-walnuts-greens salad that I usually order. Excellent Reuben sandwich and potato pancakes.
  
• KFC - I never go there.
  
• Macaroni Grill - I just tried the plain ol’ fettuccine Alfredo a few weeks ago and it was probably the best I’ve ever had.
  
• McDonalds - We choose to eat here only when we’re starving and don’t want to wait for food. Unfortunately, between the Happy Meals and play place, it’s almost always K&J’s first choice. French fries are great. Their new southwest chicken salad is good. The sausage McGriddle and hash browns is a yummy, albeit greasy, breakfast. The new cinnamon melts are way too Cinnabon-like to be within walking distance of our home.
  
• Morton’s - Filet Mignon, of course. And that Godiva chocolate cake, omigoddess it’s good! My only complaint is when they bring the cart with the live giant bug (fine, it’s a lobster) to my table. I just know that thing is gonna break through his rubber bands and pinch the crap outta me.
  
• Old Chicago - Haven’t been there forever. Not a big fan of their pizza, but I like their salads. Can’t remember much else.
  
• Olive Garden - Portobello ravioli. Pasta fagioli soup.
  
• Outback - Hate this place. They can’t grill a steak.
  
• Panda Express - What else but orange chicken?
  
• P.F. Changs - Lettuce wraps and hot and sour soup. All the entrees I’ve tried are great.
  
• Quizno’s - We don’t get stuff from here often, but I’ve liked most of the chicken sandwiches I’ve tried.
  
• Red Robin - Nothing beats the Banzai Burger. I like their salads and appetizers too. Scrumptious steak fries.
  
• Ruth’s Chris Steak House - Filet. Broccoli and green beans are perfectly fresh and crunchy and the mashed potatoes are perfect. They have a bananas Foster dessert that is just incredible.
  
• Spaghetti Factory - Is anything not edible on this menu?
  
• Stanford’s - Their Henry’s cheddar soup is delectable, but it’s not on their menu every day. I love their Thai linguine and southwest chopped chicken salad.
  
• Starbucks - The venti mocha is absolute perfection.
  
• Subway - Spicy Italian sub.
  
• Sweet Tomatoes - Bleah. Why I hate this place is all in the name. Actually, if you want a good salad bar, you can’t beat it. Otherwise, no thank you.
  
• Taco Bell - Everything tastes pretty much the same and it’s all filling. Hey, there are worse things.
  
• Taco del Mar - Anything I’ve ever ordered here is good.
  
• Taco Time - As far as I’m concerned, it is never taco time. I'm pretty sure their ground beef is actually dog food (or vegeburger, same thing). Who can mess up Mexican food? Taco Time can. Bleah.
  
• Wendy’s - I like this place fine, but I think their kids’ meals are what’s really special—they actually have choices besides burgers and chicken nuggets. They have deli sandwiches and fruit too.

If you have any additional recommendations, we’d love to hear them. I will promise not to make fun of you even if you like yucky things.